no lies

Just so everyone knows. This is a collection of all the bees that died on my back porch in a 7 day period. For reals.

long road to forgiveness

Below is a link to an interview with the woman that was the girl in this photo of a Vietnam War napalm-bombing attack near Saigon. Now she is a Christian and talks about the value of forgiveness and love. It’s pretty simple and amazing.

The Long Road to Forgiveness

a boyfriend, a bus and a bug follow up

check out my new boyfriend
See below.

car accident at 3mph
If you have been to El Salvador, you know that the driving is a little crazy. And everyone’s car has dents, scratched paint and scars from some interaction with an opposing force. So honestly, ever since I got my car and hit the roads, I have said, “Every day that I don’t get into a car accident is a success.” Well, my success rate ended with a low, low, barely moving impact week before last. You see, I was waiting for a bus in the intersection to move so that I could flow into traffic. Well, the bus started moving, and I looked to my left and saw no other traffic and so I began moving. Only to promptly lean into the side of the bus that had apparently stopped moving as soon as I looked away. Two men, that I assumed worked with the bus that I just hit, began promptly telling me how to detach from the bus wheel well I was stuck in and had a quick conversation with an approaching cop. Then one of the guys handed me the small part of my bumper that had come off and the cop then shrugged and waved us both on. Note—no one spoke directly to me once, not a single word. (Sometimes that happens when you have a gringa face.) And as we drove away, Ashley and I both realized that the two guys helping us were just bystanders on the street that had nothing better to do then detach me from a local bus. All in all, a pretty ”successful” introduction to driving and crashing a car in El Salvador.

pests – they get people talking
I am pretty sure that I got the most email responses ever concerning the bee/roach/bat Bermuda triangle that is my home. So thanks to everyone for the sympathy, advice and “ews”, “icks” and “gross’s”. As a follow up, I wanted you to know that I have purchased two kinds of roach killer. One is a food that they eat and then take home to the nest and somehow spread. I have also found that the most toxic cocktail that I have, is Lysol. And so I can regularly be seen chasing a roach spraying Lysol directly. Ashley now says that “Lysol is the clean, fresh, scent of a dead roach.” What is awful is that I am truly a lover not a fighter and every time I kill one, I feel terrible. I mean, they disgust me and so I will keep killing them—but I hate to bring any creature’s life to an end. If they would just stay away from my house—we all would sleep better at night! And no, I still don’t know what happened to that bat. One person suggested that the Holy Spirit made it vanish. That is my favorite theory.

prayer needs:
Larry & Ginny Rodriguez - Many of you that know Larry & Ginny emailed that you were already praying! Larry began a month of chemo this week. Please continue to keep Larry & Ginny in your prayers and if you see them at church, give them a hug bear hug from me!

my new boyfriend

I'm always intrigued by the connections that just happen between people--how you can meet some one and in ten minutes just feel a love and friendship. I always think those connections are somehow divine--God creating a link between lives.

In El Salvador, there are a whole lot of cute kids. And I love just hanging out, giggling and getting to know them. But every once in a while, a kid just grabs my heart...And so, I would like to introduce you to just such a kid.

Everyone meet Julio.

Julio lives in San Martin near the Good Samaritan church. Two weeks ago we were building a retaining wall right below the church and early in the morning Julio showed up to watch the action. Julio is 4 (although he will sometimes tell you he is 2--who doesn't lie about their age from time to time?) Well, he hadn't been there too long before he was playing and giggling amidst all the work. And his laugh is simply infectious! I could listen to it all day long--and well, I think I did listen to it all day long, because Julio knows how to have a good time. He was playing in the dirt, with the dirt--in the tires, with the tires--in the trees, with, well you get the picture. His favorite toy is a length of rope that he used to create a swing and that entertained us all for at least an hour. Although I doubt that there is any item that Julio could not make a toy out of.

And in his way, I learned some important lessons from Julio. Have fun. Always have fun. If things aren't fun, then whip up some fun. Giggle. Giggle a lot. In fact, try giggling nonstop and just see what happens. How great is it that a 35 year old can learn such important things from a 2 year-old, oops, I mean 4 year-old.

bees, roaches and bats - a pest-laden update

Sometimes I really wonder how I am supposed to interpret things. If any of you have been serious about seeking a calling in your life and having the courage to follow it—you will know what I mean. I pray a lot. I talk to friends a lot about my thoughts on all matters around the decision. I pray more. I write pros & cons lists. I imagine myself in each option. Basically I think a lot and try to weigh every option logically.

But then I start the scary business of interpreting things that really have nothing to do with the decision. This is where I get in trouble. Let me give you an example. Act 1: My neighbors have a bees nest under their roof. And because of this, every night that I have lived here, about 20 or more bees fly into my house and angrily attack any light that is on. They fight hard and ALL die by the next morning. So everyday, I sweep out a ton of dead bees. I have only been stung once and have no access to the spot where I think the nest is, so I’ve had a live and let live policy. (Although I do ask anyone that comes over if they are allergic before they get too comfortable…)

Act two: Last night I went to put something out by my washer, which is in a small partially covered/partially not covered area outside my kitchen. As I opened the door a very large roach fell onto my hand. I threw it down and then noticed there were about 5 roaches out there scurrying about. And then noticed a significantly larger roach further back. Hmpf! Well, I’ve never had to deal with roaches and have zero knowledge here, so I got the bleach/water mixture that we clean with and I chased roaches and sprayed them with bleach. It didn’t seem to have much impact last night and I felt I lost that battle, but today I don’t see any roaches.

Act 3 (and hopefully the finale): Tonight, Ashley and I were sitting downstairs watching a little tv when I noticed a movement by the edge of the couch. When I realized what it was, I quietly screeched, “There is a bat!” And as I said this, the bat promptly took flight and flew straight into my lap. This was followed by screams from both Ashley and I. I spilt water all over myself and the bat flew out of my lap. It then crawled and flew all over my living room. I tried to open doors, while also trying to keep a good distance. Finally it flew up on the steps to my bedroom but didn’t look like it was in good shape—I think a wing was hurt or it had stunned itself when it kept running into things or something. From my distance, I was trying to come up with a plan while watching it. It slipped out of view behind a large beam at the base of the stairwell and then I lost track of it totally. In fact, it disappeared somewhere and we never found it. So, we are pretty sure there is a bat either roaming somewhere under my stairs or dead. We don’t really know and this lack of knowledge is upsetting.

So what does this have to do with my decisions at hand? Nothing. And yet, in my ever creative mind, I did wonder tonight, “Are these some kind of sign? Some modern form of the plagues? Some warning? And if they are, what is the warning?” And I seriously wondered if the recent pest activity should influence my current life decisions. Please tell me that some of you do the same thing? Do your best to discern wisely, patiently, openly—but then go a little lloopdilloop and start adding completely irrelevant data to the decision? Tell me I am not the only one? And if I ask, please remind me that I am not Pharoah and it is just coincidence that I had 3 weird “wildlife” intersections in my suburban little home.

Prayer Needs:

• Decisions -Thanks for your prayers. I feel I am making some headway in my decision making process, even with the weird thoughts above. Please keep praying that I continue to listen with an open, trusting heart and get some well-defined clarity.
  
• Spanish - Thanks for your prayers again. I actually had a small meeting with two ENLACE employees in Spanish last week. There were a few times I was lost, but mostly stayed up with the conversation and understood what was needed next. Please keep praying and keeping me accountable on using my Spanish!
  
• Larry & Ginny Rodriguez - Many of you know Larry & Ginny Rodriguez from River West. If you stay up on my blog, I recently wrote about Larry. (Read My hero Larry.) In short, Larry and Ginny Rodriguez have blessed my life immeasurably over the last year and a half. Well after a trip to El Salvador in April, Larry was having some stomach issues and went to the Dr. for fear of bacteria or something. Thankfully, this did lead him to the Dr. because they instead discovered Colon cancer. Last week they were going to do surgery, but realized that the cancer had spread and determined the cancer inoperable for now. He has been diagnosed with stage IV cancer and in another week they will explain the treatment process. This has been a big blow to me. Simply put, I adore both Larry & Ginny and they have been such wonderful friends that I want to hop on a plane and head straight to their house. To BE there for them…to help somehow. But I know that is not an option, nor would it be helpful. So instead, I am asking each of you to really join me in praying for both Larry & Ginny. Pray that Larry is healed. I know that sounds nuts to some of you, but I believe it can happen. We have all heard miraculous stories of healing and I am praying for just such a miracle. Please believe along with me. Also pray for both Larry & Ginny as they process all of this, cope with it and relate to one another through this difficult time.

And in honor of Larry and his gift of friendship, go find that person you love most and tell them. Hug them. Laugh with them and enjoy the life you have together. Maybe even eat some Mexican food together and try to order en espanol!

a request for prayer

He will probably kill me for doing this, but I feel that I have to do a huge call out to any one that might be reading this. My very good friend Larry Rodriguez just found out that he is in stage 4 of colon cancer. It has spread to his liver and is currently inoperable. Chemo and/or radiation will probably begin soon.

Just last month I wrote about Larry in this blog. He and his wonderful wife Ginny have become more then friends to me, but truly family. So this news is really hard for me to hear. I really wish I was home, even thouh I know there is nothing I can do, but it's times like these that you just want to be near the ones you love.

Please join me in prayer for Larry. That God would heal and guide through all things.

thanks, again

Well, it’s been a crazy few months! I’m finally settling back into life in El Salvador. I haven’t written in a while and thought I would say hi. HI EVERYBODY!

Gratitude:
First I need to document some thoughts about how very thankful I am. Truly God continues to be so near to me and provide over and above all that I need. Truly, truly, truly. Again, I feel the need to share a just few of these things with you:

• Time Home – My time home in May/June was simply a delight. I got to spend so much great time with family & friends and ate so much great food. I got to explore some of Oregon’s beauty and got to drink my share of Stumptown. I even got to work at Cathy’s store, Olio United and earn some cute clothes. And of course, although I was teased a bit by friends, I was happily able to go to River West for all three services almost every Sunday I was home. It was soooo good to be surrounded by friends, to worship together, hear Guy & Adam preach live and in person and to just rest in my home church. Thanks to all you River Westers for just being such an amazing family of faith to me!
  


• New Roomie – While I was home, I asked folks to pray a lot for my sense of loneliness—it has really been weighing on me over the last couple months. Barb & Gerry Friesen said, “Tina, you need a friend. Someone to hang out with, that really loves God, is strong in their faith, etc. We are going to pray for that!” And this week a new roommate came way. Ashley is a young woman from California from Vanguard that has a huge heart for Central America (she lived in Costa Rica for 3 years after high school!) and is helping us out with our teams for the summer. She is sweet and funny and loves God and has already been a real joy and blessing. So, that is one more friend in El Salvador that is in a similar space to me. So cool!
  


• The Voice of Jesus by Gordon Smith – I have been in El Salvador 9 months and my initial commitment to ENLACE was for 1 year minimum. As I get closer to that date, I am praying a lot about what to do. Two weeks ago, I looked on my book shelf for something to read and saw The Voice of Jesus jump out at me. Many River Westers will have already read this great book on discernment and hearing the Spirit speak in our lives because Guy has praised it for a few years now. Well, this was just the right time to re-read and be reminded of the hope and joy that I get to live in and how to keep hearing God amidst all the other noise in my life. Truly it has been the perfect book at the perfect time. Thanks again for the recommendation Guy & Jonathan for the study guide!

Prayer Needs:

• Decisions -As I said above, I am trying to decide if I want to remain in El Salvador past this October or return home. This is a difficult decision and I find myself at times feeling quite overwhelmed about it. Please pray that I continue to listen for whatever call is on my life and that pride, fear and distrust would not cover the truth of whatever step I have ahead of me. One thing I can be thankful about is this—I have two wonderful options: 1. Stay in El Salvador and continue to be a part of God’s heart to transform and empower communities here or 2. Return to Portland, find a job and be part of God’s heart to transform and empower communities in Portland. Heck, maybe there is even an option where I get to do both! Wouldn’t that be something?! Anyway, your prayers, emails, etc. really help encourage me, keep my eyes on God and not myself and trust enough for each day.
  


• Spanish - I have come a long way in my Spanish, but still have such a long way to go. It’s hard to stay motivated at times and hard to stay disciplined to keep myself in the books and having the courage to just speak. I could really use your prayers in this area, as well as your help in staying accountable. If you think of it, email me at some point in the next month and ask me if I studied every day. Ask me if I really focused. Ask me if I had any kind of conversation with someone totally in Spanish. Ask me if I stepped out of my comfort zone again and just trusted God to provide whatever I needed in that conversation. Or better yet, email me in Spanish. That would be super rad!
  


• Project Milagro - This month I spent a little time in the community of Las Delicias and was again touched by the gracious love that we see in that community. People here just treat one another differently--with a common love and respect that I admire and try to replicate in my community. This is the community where ENLACE has been trying to raise funds for a very large water project. So far we have been raising money, but not at the rate we hoped. And yet, we see God so active in that community, that we are confident that he will bless this effort of so many faithful people. It would be so huge if all the folks on this list committed to pray for this project and for Las Delicias. To learn more about this amazing project and maybe even donate something, visit http://www.projectmilagro.com/ . Truly we have seen God produce amazing results with donations or any size, commitment to prayer and hearts that believe how very big our God is and trust him to accomplish great and beautiful things!

Thanks again for all of your support along this journey!