So I am walking along. And the journey is always changing. And over the past 6 months (yep, it has been 6 months since I left good ol’ PDX) I have learned that God is always creating the path ahead of me. Sometimes it is clearly laid and gleaming—like when I was in final preparations for El Salvador, every need was met by small & large miracles and the support & encouragement from friends & family shed a brilliant light on the way. Sometimes the road seems to drop off and I sense a feeling of free fall and my stomach rises to my throat—like every time I’m presented with something totally new and strange and foreign and hard in some way, shape or form—which is pretty much 10 times of every day here. Sometimes I feel alone—like on a lifeboat but with no drinking water, paddle or even Gilligan to entertain me. And sometimes I feel a nudge on my shoulder and Jesus shows up with a wheel barrel or cement or rocks and says, “I need you to actually sweat a bit and build part of the way as you go.”
And every time I think I know what He has planned next, I am always SO wrong and am back in freefall-land or blisters-on-hands-ville. Or, on the amazing days, smoking cigars with a new friend from the Scandinavian ghetto, celebrating a 2 year old’s birthday by splashing in puddles or watching the stars from my small backyard while listening to Bruce Springsteen (The River, to be exact.) And the weird thing is that in all these moments, somehow I am finding a way to be at home amidst all the journey—somehow I am feeling that wherever God has placed me for this moment is exactly where I am supposed to be—even if I have absolutely no clue why or even know my exact longitude & latitude. And this is a gift of God, because by myself I can not make or fake such peace.
Over the last few years I have found God to consistently be there, wherever there is. Always, I find God is there providing the course and the ground to rest my feet upon and every once in a while, I catch a glimpse and realize how beautiful the path is—it is decorated with scenery from all over the world, dear friends of every shape and size, so much lovely music and the reality that I get to learn a new language, love a bunch of new people and see God work in this crazy, lovely world. And there is a peace in knowing that in my sometimes whiney, sometimes humble, sometimes lonely, sometimes laughing perpetual bumbling, I am still following God exactly where He calls me. And that peace might be the most complete beauty I have ever known. And that is powerful. Actually, it’s intoxicating.
And maybe you’re thinking,, “Jolly for you Tina! Of course you have trials and yet feel all saintly amidst dirt and snakes and weird natives. Congratulations! That is the life of a missionary… Duh, I have read the books and saw the Jim Elliot movie. Why are your surprised by some supernatural sense of placement and purpose and peace. That is what we all expected for you”. And then maybe you wonder, “but what about me? I am a soccer mom or a business person or a retired person or a newlywed”—or whatever title is in on your personal business card these days. And you say, “I’m just living in LO or NOPO or SOHO”—And maybe the sense of divinity is sort of obscured by the monotony of alarm clocks, dentist appointments or subway cars without functioning AC. And I get that, but here is the weird thing that I see so crystal clearly that it sparkles, but I doubt many of you will believe me. I know becoming a missionary means I lost all street cred in the daily business of band practice, marriage spats, retail envy and regular life. But please try to hear me anyway. Everyday that I serve in Central America, I think about you at home and it is clear to me that we are all walking the same journey. Really the active, life-filled, joyful Christian walk boils down to two very simple things:
1. Always following God in total obedience wherever He leads with a willing spirit
2. Loving people as much as you can, while continually learning how to get better at that
All of this sense of placement, peace & purpose has nothing to do with where I am or what I’m specifically doing. It’s really just about following God and then inviting Him into every moment along the way. And as we do that, He shows up and works in our lives and does some really cool stuff—challenges us, blesses us, astounds us, comforts us and continues guiding us. And ultimately He shows us how to love this life, this world and those people all around you in a way that crosses into the divine. And you wake up one morning and realize that there YOU are encircled in this amazing life of rich love and joy—no matter where you are.
So maybe you are currently residing in freefall-land or broken-hearts-town or maybe even fiesta-all-the-time-ton, you see it doesn’t really matter where you are, neither physically or spiritually, God is asking you to invite Him along for the journey. He wants to be your partner in crime in this crazy life—but He is so much more than that. Trust me. Or really, trust Him. He will take you on weird roads in new places, and it will be hard and probably scary—but it will also be awesome—rich with a life you could never even dream of.
Ephesians 3: 14-21 (The Message)My response is to get down on my knees before
the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask
him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner
strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in.
And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take
in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.
Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to
the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.
God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!
Prayer Requests:
- Teams: The River West/Agros team heading to Nuevo Renacer leaves this coming Saturday and the River West/ENLACE team leaves the following Saturday. Please join me in praying for the presence of the Lord for every team member as they are in final preparations. We also pray for all of the communities that they will be serving—that they be encouraged and blessed!
- Spanish: Some prayers never change!
- Homesickness: And lately, I really miss you all. So please pray that my sense of homesickness be decreased and my sense of what God wants me to do be increased!
PS: If you loved Roby Duke as much as me, check this out:
Bridge Divine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJkql3_NV3U&feature=related
To hear more about Pantaleon, check out Guy's sermon after he returned to River West on 5/11 http://www.riverwest.org/teaching/index.htm 
Well, I am more then a little behind the times in photos, stories, etc. But fortunately, I was able to see many of you while home and tell you face-to-face about what an amazing time I had with the River West team in Nuevo Renacer. Following will be a series of blog entries focusing on a few different aspects of the trip.
OK, so one day I was playing with playdough with about 6 kids. Adilson, the cutey in gray and orange pictured here, kept making me jewelry out of playdough and I would wear each piece as long as they lasted. But then I was called away and head to help with something else and handed all of my doughey jewelry back. About 20 minutes later I return and Adilson is directing all of the kids to craft various letters. I wonder what he is spelling out and approach with curiosity. Then I look down and see "Tina es mi ami..." and then the "g" and "a" get slapped down and they all say outloud, "Tina es mi amiga." (Tina is my friend.)
There is always someone that is asking, "Great to hear about the kids, but what did the team DO?" All kinds of stuff, but the primary project was to dig large holes and plant trees around the "traffic" circles to privide shade. 
uez about a year and a half ago. At that point, I had prayed to God that I would move to El Salvador but had created a list of "to-do's" that God would have to meet before I got on a plane. One of those was that I would need to learn some Spanish. And not two days later, I happen to start talking to Larry and he said, "I used to be a Spanish teacher and I was wondering if there might be interest at River West for a Spanish class?" I laughed and said, "Yes, I know for a fact there is!"
Larry translated, taught impromptu English classes and generally, was his sweet, loving self.
