to el salvador

Declaration

2009-10-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

Maybe this is very Junior High of me, but I find myself having the same internal conversations lately--some healthy and some not. In the Bible they frequently document important ideas in a prayer or song. I decided to gather some of the things I am committing to in one document.

thankful, yet again!

2009-03-09T19:39:00.000-07:00

Here I sit in Rogue Valley Medical Center. I am thankful and relieved and utterly exhausted. The adeneline has gone and the big unknown is over! Now my body is done with all this excitement.

Mom came through surgery like a champ! The Dr. said that everything went great and all visible signs say that they got everything. They will, of course, test the tumor but all signs point to good health. Thank God!

please pray for my mama

2009-03-06T11:26:00.000-08:00

A few quick updates from Tina-Land-

MOM & FAMILY:
We found out yesterday that my mom has breast cancer. The tumor is small and she faithfully gets her annual mammogram—so we have trust that the cancer will be very treatable. That being said, my mom hates pain and my dad hates Dr’s, pain, my mom’s pain, stress, etc. So this will definitely be a trying time for them—as well as my two brothers and I. She has surgery on Monday to remove the lump and I’m heading home to be with her. Once healed from the surgery, she will start with radiation and we hope that is all she will need. Please commit to praying over the next two months for my mom, Bonnie, and my dad, Jerry. And I have to say that this sure seems like a good reason to be back from El Salvador and not working full-time—I can just hop down to Southern Oregon and be there to support my mom and dad. That is such a good feeling!

CAR MONEY IS HERE—NOW LOOKING FOR A NEW CAR:
Yeah! After a lot of rigamarole—Dave was able to find a pretty cheap and secure way to get me my cashola. So I now have the money to purchase a car. I am looking for a Toyota Corolla somewhere around 2001, with less than 100K, standard transmission. Let me know if you see anything for sale!

JOB:
We were able to increase my hours at Olio United (looking for a great fairly-made and downright stylish gift, dress or art work? http://www.oliounited.com/ ). This will provide some more consistency to my pay and schedule—and is with some of my best friends! I’m really looking forward to it. This still leaves a lot of hours in the week open—but I have a few opportunities to explore to potentially cover those. Please just keep praying that I can keep living simply and that I will know what opportunities to pursue. Otherwise, I simply trust God to provide—as He always has in the past. I am so blessed!

A WORD OF STILLNESS:
The above thank yous and prayers, have me pondering the roller coaster of life. Seven years ago I was on quite a ride as I was struggling with the questions of whether God existed or not, and Psalm 46:10 was the spot in the Bible that ended all questions in my mind.

10 "Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

These words caused me to pause because I realized that was my ultimate question, “Was there a God and if so, could He really calm the storms in my life and my spirit?” This verse spoke deep to those concerns and has long stayed with me as I continue through my ever twisting path of life. It brings me comfort and peace—and primarily seems to always introduce God into my darkest moments. In Israel a few years back, I bought a ring with this verse written in Hebrew along the band. And when I feel chaos crashing in, I slip this ring on and it speaks to my fears of not knowing the end of the story and offers a solid place to stand—No matter where you are, be still. I am God and I have it all in control! Truly I do! Just wait and see what I am planning!

I know that so many of us are in strange bends in the road currently: career-wise, relationally, spiritually. So I offer this verse as a marker in your road—or maybe a billboard along the way—but definitely a message from God. He is here and He is big enough to be, well all kinds of God-like. I encourage you to invite Him into your current situation—feel free to test Him and scream and yell if you need to—because He is God, He can handle it! I have and I remain strangely in peace and faith amidst another life storm. I have hope for my mom, a job, a car and a great tomorrow. I know it may sound odd, or maybe downright delusional, to say and yet I remain still in this moment, trusting God to just be Himself. And that is enough to make it through to another day with a sense of joyful expectation. I will keep you posted on how He does!

better than lucky number 7

2009-03-02T12:49:00.000-08:00

The Year of the LORD's Favor

This January marked my 7th year as a Bible toting Christian. Really there is nothing that I can say about the last year, that isn’t in this chapter of Isaiah. God is good and I am rich. If this poses questions for you, let’s grab coffee & talk about how I see ME in these words. ♥ Tina

Isaiah 61
The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—

to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated; they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.

Aliens will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards. And you will be called priests of the LORD, you will be named ministers of our God. You will feed on the wealth of nations, and in their riches you will boast. Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs. "For I, the LORD, love justice; I hate robbery and iniquity. In my faithfulness I will reward them and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge that they are a people the LORD has blessed."

I delight greatly in the LORD; my soul rejoices in my God.
For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of righteousness,
as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels.

For as the soil makes the sprout come up and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign LORD will make righteousness and praise spring up before all nations.

who, where, when, what

2009-02-21T08:43:00.000-08:00

So many of you have asked me how my return home has been and depending on the day, my answer can vary significantly but I believe the word I have used most consistently is disoriented. Some days are good, some days are less good—but each day I kind of wonder what the heck am I doing? Where I am going? When am I going there? And who will I be in the end? And thus far an answer to even one of those questions seems elusive—nonetheless all of them. And so, I move forward in this somewhat confused, continually wondering state. Along the way God continues to meet my needs and affirm that I am exactly where He wants me and so I am trying to patiently place one foot in front of the other.

And as I speak to friends and family, I realize that I am certainly not alone. We are living in weird times—a fact that the daily news attempts to terrorize us with every day! As I think about it, I barely know anyone that doesn’t feel a bit disheveled these days.

Taking all this internal hoopla into church on Sunday, I sat down in my chair with an air of tension. I sat in the back and was greeted by friend after friend. Then the worship began and as I sang, my spirit softened and I felt a weight lift. My good friend Adam was preaching and he shared funny stories, challenged me and spoke truth. As he spoke I felt a hope revive in my heart—that is the natural response to good truth! And by the closing song I was shaking my hips and singing with a full grin across my face. There really is something, well, spiritual about church. And it’s not about the stained glass or the soulful music—it’s that God dwells in the community of His people. It’s actually a place where you can rub elbows with God and hear His voice and feel His arms as a fellow believer greets you in love. Truly something supernatural can happen there and this Sunday I was keenly reminded of the deep, deep blessing of being able to attend my local Christian church.

Feeling the craziness of our times? My advice is simple: Go sit in your favorite neighborhood church and just see what happens.

A few updates to keep everyone in the loop!

THE CAR- Thanks for all your prayers! Teresita, my lovely Landcruiser, has a new owner! Please pray that the check travel from El Salvador to here safely and quickly! (We have friends in the Embassy that are going to send it via US mail, NOT Salvadoran “mail”.) And let me know if you know of any reliable cars available for a good price! I’m particularly interested in Toyota’s and Volvo’s.
THE JOB- I’m still looking for a job! But thankfully between my very part-time job at Olio United, another part-time gig helping a friend work on a book and various money making schemes, I am paying the bills. As I have talked to people and considered some of the job opportunities, it’s becoming clearer that this process may take a while and I am just trusting that God will continue to provide for and lead me.
SEMINARY- I am still hoping to begin seminary in May, but without any kind of consistent paycheck, I don’t feel like I can take on the additional debt of school. So there is a chance that I may have to postpone for another semester. Please pray that I get a clear direction on when to begin, how to pay, etc. I am so excited about this, but feel like I need to know how the bills will get paid before I sign up for additional expenses!
HELPING IN UGANDA?- My roommate, Ginger, is Director of the US side of a nonprofit working with AIDS orphans in Uganda (AOET http://www.aoet.org/) and is currently in Uganda. We have talked and prayed about opportunities for me to help them with communications over the last few months. In early March, there is an Oregon based marketing firm that has offered to help AOET develop print materials, a video and a new website. Ginger and I think it would be awesome if I could at least be in Uganda with this team to assist in the development of the comm materials—basically to bring my comm developmental and organizational skills to the table for AOET. As of right now, I have the time available—it’s just a matter of funding. It looks like a ticket will cost somewhere between $1500-2000 and some new immunizations will cost around $500. I feel like I have already been given so much from folks over the last few years, that I don’t want to ask for support—and yet, I clearly can’t go without it. So I figure, it’s up to God to provide the dollars if this something that He wants me to do. Please pray that it becomes clear one way or another, what I am supposed to do.

THANKS, AGAIN- And as always, thanks to all of you for your support, caring, encouragement and prayers. Almost every day someone shares a kindness with me and I am a very, very blessed girl to be surrounded by so much love!

Ephesians 3:16-21I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Oh, and the photo is just of my hair cut from a few weeks back. I thought El
Sal friends might like to see and blogs without any photos are just too many
words!

Seminary and beyond

2009-01-15T16:37:00.000-08:00

Soooo, I did fall of the face of the blogosphere, but I'm going to try to make a comeback!Before I can get deep, thoughtful and all sorts of compelling, let me bring you up to speed:

Back in Portland
Just in case you missed it, I have officially moved back to Portland. I am living in my old house, attending River West and trying to figure out what is the plan now.
Looking for A Job
My time with ENLACE came to an end at the end of 2008, so I am currently looking for a job. If anyone knows of anyone that needs a communications person or administrator or project manager or generally smart and effective lady, please pass on my name and contact info. I will also forward on copies of my resume if anyone has any job leads.
Need a Car
Please join me in praying that my car sells asap in El Salvador. I need the proceeds from that to purchase a car here and to live on if a job doesn't happen soon. If you have a car that I can borrow for a while, please let me know!
Starting Seminary
I am planning on starting a Masters Program at Western Seminary in Portland this summer. I will likely only be able to take a few classes at a time--so it may take a while--but I am so excited to get started. I will be getting a masters in Pastoral Care to Women with separate concentration in intercultural studies and missions. This kind of touches on both of my primary passions, while also allowing me to get some Bible training, mininstry training, etc. Oooo, I wish I could start tomorrow!

Finally thanks to everyone that has been praying, emailing, encouraging, in some cases feeding me as I transition. Your support is so huge to me right now as I continue to move forward wondering what God has next. Following is the verse that is really sustaning me these days.

Psalm 143:8
Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.

Thanks again and stay tuned for more thoughts soon. I have a lot of catching up to do!

and once more...

2008-11-07T21:27:00.000-08:00

I swear, I will have words to share soon--lot's of thoughts brewing! Thanks for the prayers!

more cuuuute

2008-11-06T04:54:00.000-08:00

quick photo update on Nuevo Renacer

2008-11-04T08:07:00.000-08:00

more cuteness & fun!!

Photos are of the new oven that is being cast today for the community bakery! (More on that soon.) A photo of my and Nyeli. Sheri Harkavy with her joyful glow with the kiddos. And lil baby Gerry in his tuxedo!

taking care of the cute factor

2008-11-03T07:14:00.000-08:00

OK, so I only have a second, but figured you all needed a good does of super cutey-ness on this Monday.

Most photos are self-explanatory, except for the one where Pastor Chris and others are making lion faces. You see, the kids taught us this game: Daniel, Delilah & the Lion. Basically a life-sized rock, paper, scissors with hand motions. So you divide into two groups, confer on whether your group will be S, D or the L and then both groups face each other and on the count of 3 you make the correct hand motion. For those Pastors out there: Samson kills the lion; Delilah kills Samson and the lion kills Delilah. (I don't remember these facts from my Bible stories...they must be reading The Message...)

Thanks for the prayers and keep it up! In particular, please join us in praying for Agros staff worker Luis Mario. His 2 year-old son is sick in the hospital and they do not know what is wrong.

Enjoy the photos.

so very smart

2008-09-27T17:13:00.000-07:00

What you will see me driving around town for the next month or so. Yep, for reals. My parents ordered a smart car a year ago and it just came in. They are in California and won't be back until December. So I get to drive this cute lil thing with great gas mileage--pretty much the polar opposite of Teresita, my el sal ride. But I feel so blessed to have such great wheels for the next couple months. Thanks Mom & Dad!

giving the camera to kids

2008-09-17T11:46:00.001-07:00

I spend a good amount of time hanging out with the other missionary familes and have had soooo much fun with their kids. Here are a few examples of our good times when I let the girls take my camera and capture the moments.

abelines-my favorite ENLACE community

2008-09-17T11:46:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back, I got to head to my favorite ENLACE community, Abelines. This is our most remote community and every time we go, I am a nervous nelly on the crazy dirt road that takes an hour to drive and absolutely requires 4wd. This is real off-roading people!

But once we complete the journey, I am always glad I did it. There is a spirit in Abelines of peace, joy and expectation that you can feel in the air. After years of working together as a community and with ENLACE, this is truly a transformed community. There is a hope, a pride in what they have accomplished together and a love seen through words and deeds that truly shows the face of God. The people are still mostly poor in our standards and there are still many areas of work remaining--and yet I am blown away by these folks on every visit.

And of course, the kids are amazing. I spent an entire morning singing, playing and just enjoying the children from the house we were digging a latrine for. I even got them to show me some of their dance moves! So much fun!

On this last trip, we were able to turn on lights from a switch and enjoy electricty for the first time in that community! I was so honored to just be there and appreciate what this wonderful group of people have been able to accomplish! Read more about the long road to electricity in Abelines.

just another day in san salvador

2008-08-23T12:31:00.000-07:00

Well, Teresita, my wonderful car has been oddly overheating over the past two weeks, so I finally called the mechanic that was recommended by the previous owner. There aren't a lot of street signs in San Sal, so the mechanic said he would meet me by a prominent monument and then I could follow him to his house/garage. Once we met up, he led me on a high speed chase which included a u turn against on coming 5pm traffic and a cross of 3 lanes to make an immediate left hand turn. (I missed that turn and had to u-turn again to get back to him!) But once we were at his house, Rafael got to business and determined that at least one part was leaking and that perhaps my radiator needed a little work. (No, I do not know what was leaking--I'm sure I don't know the word in english, let alone spanish.) He said it should take a day or two to fix and I hoped in a cab to come home.

Although I love my car, taking a cab here is fun for me because I don't have to drive and can just enjoy the sights of the city. Following are a few photos of Rafael and the ride home. If you have spent any time in SS, you will likely recognize the look of the coaster driver and the "En Dios Confiamos" (in God we trust) on the windshield. Or the odd grafitti that pops up. Or the insane traffic. Just another day in San Salvador...

having fun is, well, fun

2008-08-14T09:35:00.001-07:00

In El Salvador they celebrate a holiday called Augustina. In practical terms this means that El Sal closes down and everyone heads home for a week of religious festivals, carnivals and time with family.

A few of my friends and I took this opportunity to see some more of Central America. Jamie Huff, a Vanguard Anthro Professor working with ENLACE for 6 months, and his family--Rebecca, Reyna and Emily--borrowed a friend's van and Ashley, Matt (Jamie's assistant) and I snagged a ride.

We went to Copan Ruinas in Honduras. This is a delightful small colonial town within walking distance of some amazing Mayan ruins. We had a great time exploring the ruins and we took a great drive through the beautiful Honduran mountains to some "local" hot springs. It was a looong drive, but gorgeous, so we didn't mind too much. Our hostel/hotel, Iguana Azul, was awesome. We paid $6 a night and had hot, hot showers and our own room. We were also able to get awesome massages for $25 for an hour. All in all, it was a perfectly balanced time of wandering the city with down time to read, relax and enjoy one another's company.

After 3 nights, The Huff's & Matt left to return to El Salvador and Ashley & I grabbed a shuttle to Antigua, Guatemala. Honestly the $15 was well spent to just be able to see so much of Guatemala. What an amazingly beautiful country! The beauty of nature contrasted sharply with urban life as we drove through quite a bit of Guatemala City (GC) dropping different people off and saw some of the harsher sides of Central America's largest city. Truly GC dwarfs San Salvador as far as cities go.

And after 6 hours in the shuttle we made it to a very dark and rainy Antigua. Our first night was kind of a bomb amidst our wet clothes & luggage, the dank hostel we stayed at and the intense rain--but the sun came out on Wednesday and the lovely Antigua that I know so well was delightful as ever. We found a nice, reasonlably priced hotel room, took showers and "did a do-over." We then had 3 great days or eating, shopping and walking around at night. It was a great lil break and Ashley is the greatest travel partner ever. Really we had great fun just talking about all of life, laughing and hunting out the best cakes in Antigua.

All in all it was a fun a week away, but truly I felt like it was a week of restoration and that God was able to return some former joy into my heart. I guess my boyfriend Julio really knew something when he focused so much time on playing because playing is not only fun but fills you with laughter and peace and wonder and delight in this amazing world and the many cool things in our lives. Julio is sooo smart.

For more intriguing and cultural relevant photos, visit my facebook photo gallery. And if you are on facebook, join the ENLACE group.

pupusa's & prayer

2008-08-14T09:25:00.000-07:00

One of the coolest things that has happened to me lately is a Sunday night gathering of friends that includes a dinner of pupusa’s and then a time of sharing and praying. It has been huge for me because it allows me to connect with others and be honest about what I am struggling with or get to share the good things that God is doing. It’s a simple affair and yet has such impact. And it dawns on me that it is pretty much the heart of why God calls us to church—to connect us, encourage us, teach us and show us his love in a way that only the arms of a brother or sister can.

Last night after one such gathering I was so touched about how right or Sunday nights were that I had to write to all my friends that attended and share my feelings. Today, I realize that these words are no less true for my church family at home and around the world. So I figured I may as well share with you all as well. I hope this encourages all of you this week and helps you recognize the amazing blessing we have in the community around us wherever they are others that are willing to gather, listen and pray.

I just had to say how much I love prayer and pupusa’s on Sundays! It is so great to have a time to check in with everyone, focus on our shared beautiful Jesus and share our hearts, fears, worries, joys and to giggle some to. And please know that I do pray for each one of you throughout every week, because I kind of love you all. There, I said it!

Ashley and I were talking about vulnerability and how hard it is and yet how critical it is in the walk of faith—being transparent to everyone around us. Really, how can we glorify God if we aren’t real with one another about the areas that he is challenging us? …The messes he is redeeming in us? …The crappiness he is replacing with not only goodness, but holiness. (Holiness instead of crap. That still astounds me. Talk about the best trade up ever.)

Being in El Salvador forces each of us to fly a “I am not all that nor a bag of chips” flag freely and frequently. And what is amazing is that this seems like one of the most precious gifts El Salvador gives us because honestly, it’s reality—no less true in the states or anywhere. But El Sal does have a way of forcing the card—the unending needs of poverty, the difficulties with even the littlest task, the language—all of these things force us to admit our weakness and our lack and require that we cling to God to make something out of the motley pile that is us. And oddly, when we do chill out, trust God to be working and stare into the big baby blues of Christ’s deep, deep, infinitely deep well of love for us—then we often get a brief glimpse of the Kingdom of God. That awesome place where Christ is Lord and is working out this harmonic, just and mindblowingly beautiful plan of complete redemption in the world. And when we stand in our own reality—no matter how ugly or lovely—and share together the truth of God working in and among us, we are part of that story of saints. We are what Christians are supposed to be.

Take a look at this verse:

1 Peter 2:9
But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

You, my friends, and I are chosen by God to come from the darkness into his awesome light. God….G-O-D has chosen us and picked us for his eternal kickball game in the sky. No last picks. We are at the top of the “priesthood” list. And we are part of the winningest team ever. (Insert cool cheerleading chant here with Jesus’ name screamed out.) And all of this is reality, even as I suck at Spanish, can’t figure out how to rid myself of bees or bats and feel as if I accomplish not so much in every week. I am still a priest if my eyes are on Christ.

It is such a joy to share in this journey with each one of you. Today I celebrate the twists and turns and scary choices and unknowns and fears and potential loves and potential heart breaks that each one of us shared tonight. God is there amidst it all and it is his work and he will be exalted. Because he is more than all that and a bag of chips. He is God. Immanuel. Jehovoah Jireh. Master and King.

Psalm 46:10-11
“Be still, and know that I am God;
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth."

The LORD Almighty is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress.
Selah
Try to keep that in mind this week.

no lies

2008-07-30T16:55:00.000-07:00

Just so everyone knows. This is a collection of all the bees that died on my back porch in a 7 day period. For reals.

long road to forgiveness

2008-07-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

Below is a link to an interview with the woman that was the girl in this photo of a Vietnam War napalm-bombing attack near Saigon. Now she is a Christian and talks about the value of forgiveness and love. It’s pretty simple and amazing.

The Long Road to Forgiveness

a boyfriend, a bus and a bug follow up

2008-07-28T09:55:00.000-07:00

check out my new boyfriend
See below.

car accident at 3mph
If you have been to El Salvador, you know that the driving is a little crazy. And everyone’s car has dents, scratched paint and scars from some interaction with an opposing force. So honestly, ever since I got my car and hit the roads, I have said, “Every day that I don’t get into a car accident is a success.” Well, my success rate ended with a low, low, barely moving impact week before last. You see, I was waiting for a bus in the intersection to move so that I could flow into traffic. Well, the bus started moving, and I looked to my left and saw no other traffic and so I began moving. Only to promptly lean into the side of the bus that had apparently stopped moving as soon as I looked away. Two men, that I assumed worked with the bus that I just hit, began promptly telling me how to detach from the bus wheel well I was stuck in and had a quick conversation with an approaching cop. Then one of the guys handed me the small part of my bumper that had come off and the cop then shrugged and waved us both on. Note—no one spoke directly to me once, not a single word. (Sometimes that happens when you have a gringa face.) And as we drove away, Ashley and I both realized that the two guys helping us were just bystanders on the street that had nothing better to do then detach me from a local bus. All in all, a pretty ”successful” introduction to driving and crashing a car in El Salvador.

pests – they get people talking
I am pretty sure that I got the most email responses ever concerning the bee/roach/bat Bermuda triangle that is my home. So thanks to everyone for the sympathy, advice and “ews”, “icks” and “gross’s”. As a follow up, I wanted you to know that I have purchased two kinds of roach killer. One is a food that they eat and then take home to the nest and somehow spread. I have also found that the most toxic cocktail that I have, is Lysol. And so I can regularly be seen chasing a roach spraying Lysol directly. Ashley now says that “Lysol is the clean, fresh, scent of a dead roach.” What is awful is that I am truly a lover not a fighter and every time I kill one, I feel terrible. I mean, they disgust me and so I will keep killing them—but I hate to bring any creature’s life to an end. If they would just stay away from my house—we all would sleep better at night! And no, I still don’t know what happened to that bat. One person suggested that the Holy Spirit made it vanish. That is my favorite theory.

prayer needs:
Larry & Ginny Rodriguez - Many of you that know Larry & Ginny emailed that you were already praying! Larry began a month of chemo this week. Please continue to keep Larry & Ginny in your prayers and if you see them at church, give them a hug bear hug from me!

my new boyfriend

2008-07-15T17:02:00.000-07:00

I'm always intrigued by the connections that just happen between people--how you can meet some one and in ten minutes just feel a love and friendship. I always think those connections are somehow divine--God creating a link between lives.

In El Salvador, there are a whole lot of cute kids. And I love just hanging out, giggling and getting to know them. But every once in a while, a kid just grabs my heart...And so, I would like to introduce you to just such a kid.

Everyone meet Julio.

Julio lives in San Martin near the Good Samaritan church. Two weeks ago we were building a retaining wall right below the church and early in the morning Julio showed up to watch the action. Julio is 4 (although he will sometimes tell you he is 2--who doesn't lie about their age from time to time?) Well, he hadn't been there too long before he was playing and giggling amidst all the work. And his laugh is simply infectious! I could listen to it all day long--and well, I think I did listen to it all day long, because Julio knows how to have a good time. He was playing in the dirt, with the dirt--in the tires, with the tires--in the trees, with, well you get the picture. His favorite toy is a length of rope that he used to create a swing and that entertained us all for at least an hour. Although I doubt that there is any item that Julio could not make a toy out of.

And in his way, I learned some important lessons from Julio. Have fun. Always have fun. If things aren't fun, then whip up some fun. Giggle. Giggle a lot. In fact, try giggling nonstop and just see what happens. How great is it that a 35 year old can learn such important things from a 2 year-old, oops, I mean 4 year-old.

bees, roaches and bats - a pest-laden update

2008-07-09T07:48:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I really wonder how I am supposed to interpret things. If any of you have been serious about seeking a calling in your life and having the courage to follow it—you will know what I mean. I pray a lot. I talk to friends a lot about my thoughts on all matters around the decision. I pray more. I write pros & cons lists. I imagine myself in each option. Basically I think a lot and try to weigh every option logically.

But then I start the scary business of interpreting things that really have nothing to do with the decision. This is where I get in trouble. Let me give you an example. Act 1: My neighbors have a bees nest under their roof. And because of this, every night that I have lived here, about 20 or more bees fly into my house and angrily attack any light that is on. They fight hard and ALL die by the next morning. So everyday, I sweep out a ton of dead bees. I have only been stung once and have no access to the spot where I think the nest is, so I’ve had a live and let live policy. (Although I do ask anyone that comes over if they are allergic before they get too comfortable…)

Act two: Last night I went to put something out by my washer, which is in a small partially covered/partially not covered area outside my kitchen. As I opened the door a very large roach fell onto my hand. I threw it down and then noticed there were about 5 roaches out there scurrying about. And then noticed a significantly larger roach further back. Hmpf! Well, I’ve never had to deal with roaches and have zero knowledge here, so I got the bleach/water mixture that we clean with and I chased roaches and sprayed them with bleach. It didn’t seem to have much impact last night and I felt I lost that battle, but today I don’t see any roaches.

Act 3 (and hopefully the finale): Tonight, Ashley and I were sitting downstairs watching a little tv when I noticed a movement by the edge of the couch. When I realized what it was, I quietly screeched, “There is a bat!” And as I said this, the bat promptly took flight and flew straight into my lap. This was followed by screams from both Ashley and I. I spilt water all over myself and the bat flew out of my lap. It then crawled and flew all over my living room. I tried to open doors, while also trying to keep a good distance. Finally it flew up on the steps to my bedroom but didn’t look like it was in good shape—I think a wing was hurt or it had stunned itself when it kept running into things or something. From my distance, I was trying to come up with a plan while watching it. It slipped out of view behind a large beam at the base of the stairwell and then I lost track of it totally. In fact, it disappeared somewhere and we never found it. So, we are pretty sure there is a bat either roaming somewhere under my stairs or dead. We don’t really know and this lack of knowledge is upsetting.

So what does this have to do with my decisions at hand? Nothing. And yet, in my ever creative mind, I did wonder tonight, “Are these some kind of sign? Some modern form of the plagues? Some warning? And if they are, what is the warning?” And I seriously wondered if the recent pest activity should influence my current life decisions. Please tell me that some of you do the same thing? Do your best to discern wisely, patiently, openly—but then go a little lloopdilloop and start adding completely irrelevant data to the decision? Tell me I am not the only one? And if I ask, please remind me that I am not Pharoah and it is just coincidence that I had 3 weird “wildlife” intersections in my suburban little home.

Prayer Needs:

Decisions -Thanks for your prayers. I feel I am making some headway in my decision making process, even with the weird thoughts above. Please keep praying that I continue to listen with an open, trusting heart and get some well-defined clarity.
Spanish - Thanks for your prayers again. I actually had a small meeting with two ENLACE employees in Spanish last week. There were a few times I was lost, but mostly stayed up with the conversation and understood what was needed next. Please keep praying and keeping me accountable on using my Spanish!
Larry & Ginny Rodriguez - Many of you know Larry & Ginny Rodriguez from River West. If you stay up on my blog, I recently wrote about Larry. (Read My hero Larry.) In short, Larry and Ginny Rodriguez have blessed my life immeasurably over the last year and a half. Well after a trip to El Salvador in April, Larry was having some stomach issues and went to the Dr. for fear of bacteria or something. Thankfully, this did lead him to the Dr. because they instead discovered Colon cancer. Last week they were going to do surgery, but realized that the cancer had spread and determined the cancer inoperable for now. He has been diagnosed with stage IV cancer and in another week they will explain the treatment process. This has been a big blow to me. Simply put, I adore both Larry & Ginny and they have been such wonderful friends that I want to hop on a plane and head straight to their house. To BE there for them…to help somehow. But I know that is not an option, nor would it be helpful. So instead, I am asking each of you to really join me in praying for both Larry & Ginny. Pray that Larry is healed. I know that sounds nuts to some of you, but I believe it can happen. We have all heard miraculous stories of healing and I am praying for just such a miracle. Please believe along with me. Also pray for both Larry & Ginny as they process all of this, cope with it and relate to one another through this difficult time.

And in honor of Larry and his gift of friendship, go find that person you love most and tell them. Hug them. Laugh with them and enjoy the life you have together. Maybe even eat some Mexican food together and try to order en espanol!

a request for prayer

2008-07-01T16:49:00.000-07:00

He will probably kill me for doing this, but I feel that I have to do a huge call out to any one that might be reading this. My very good friend Larry Rodriguez just found out that he is in stage 4 of colon cancer. It has spread to his liver and is currently inoperable. Chemo and/or radiation will probably begin soon.

Just last month I wrote about Larry in this blog. He and his wonderful wife Ginny have become more then friends to me, but truly family. So this news is really hard for me to hear. I really wish I was home, even thouh I know there is nothing I can do, but it's times like these that you just want to be near the ones you love.

Please join me in prayer for Larry. That God would heal and guide through all things.

thanks, again

2008-07-01T08:36:00.000-07:00

Well, it’s been a crazy few months! I’m finally settling back into life in El Salvador. I haven’t written in a while and thought I would say hi. HI EVERYBODY!

Gratitude:
First I need to document some thoughts about how very thankful I am. Truly God continues to be so near to me and provide over and above all that I need. Truly, truly, truly. Again, I feel the need to share a just few of these things with you:

Time Home – My time home in May/June was simply a delight. I got to spend so much great time with family & friends and ate so much great food. I got to explore some of Oregon’s beauty and got to drink my share of Stumptown. I even got to work at Cathy’s store, Olio United and earn some cute clothes. And of course, although I was teased a bit by friends, I was happily able to go to River West for all three services almost every Sunday I was home. It was soooo good to be surrounded by friends, to worship together, hear Guy & Adam preach live and in person and to just rest in my home church. Thanks to all you River Westers for just being such an amazing family of faith to me!

New Roomie – While I was home, I asked folks to pray a lot for my sense of loneliness—it has really been weighing on me over the last couple months. Barb & Gerry Friesen said, “Tina, you need a friend. Someone to hang out with, that really loves God, is strong in their faith, etc. We are going to pray for that!” And this week a new roommate came way. Ashley is a young woman from California from Vanguard that has a huge heart for Central America (she lived in Costa Rica for 3 years after high school!) and is helping us out with our teams for the summer. She is sweet and funny and loves God and has already been a real joy and blessing. So, that is one more friend in El Salvador that is in a similar space to me. So cool!

The Voice of Jesus by Gordon Smith – I have been in El Salvador 9 months and my initial commitment to ENLACE was for 1 year minimum. As I get closer to that date, I am praying a lot about what to do. Two weeks ago, I looked on my book shelf for something to read and saw The Voice of Jesus jump out at me. Many River Westers will have already read this great book on discernment and hearing the Spirit speak in our lives because Guy has praised it for a few years now. Well, this was just the right time to re-read and be reminded of the hope and joy that I get to live in and how to keep hearing God amidst all the other noise in my life. Truly it has been the perfect book at the perfect time. Thanks again for the recommendation Guy & Jonathan for the study guide!

Prayer Needs:

Decisions -As I said above, I am trying to decide if I want to remain in El Salvador past this October or return home. This is a difficult decision and I find myself at times feeling quite overwhelmed about it. Please pray that I continue to listen for whatever call is on my life and that pride, fear and distrust would not cover the truth of whatever step I have ahead of me. One thing I can be thankful about is this—I have two wonderful options: 1. Stay in El Salvador and continue to be a part of God’s heart to transform and empower communities here or 2. Return to Portland, find a job and be part of God’s heart to transform and empower communities in Portland. Heck, maybe there is even an option where I get to do both! Wouldn’t that be something?! Anyway, your prayers, emails, etc. really help encourage me, keep my eyes on God and not myself and trust enough for each day.

Spanish - I have come a long way in my Spanish, but still have such a long way to go. It’s hard to stay motivated at times and hard to stay disciplined to keep myself in the books and having the courage to just speak. I could really use your prayers in this area, as well as your help in staying accountable. If you think of it, email me at some point in the next month and ask me if I studied every day. Ask me if I really focused. Ask me if I had any kind of conversation with someone totally in Spanish. Ask me if I stepped out of my comfort zone again and just trusted God to provide whatever I needed in that conversation. Or better yet, email me in Spanish. That would be super rad!

Project Milagro - This month I spent a little time in the community of Las Delicias and was again touched by the gracious love that we see in that community. People here just treat one another differently--with a common love and respect that I admire and try to replicate in my community. This is the community where ENLACE has been trying to raise funds for a very large water project. So far we have been raising money, but not at the rate we hoped. And yet, we see God so active in that community, that we are confident that he will bless this effort of so many faithful people. It would be so huge if all the folks on this list committed to pray for this project and for Las Delicias. To learn more about this amazing project and maybe even donate something, visit http://www.projectmilagro.com/ . Truly we have seen God produce amazing results with donations or any size, commitment to prayer and hearts that believe how very big our God is and trust him to accomplish great and beautiful things!

Thanks again for all of your support along this journey!

pantaleon

2008-06-12T09:28:00.000-07:00

I don't have time to tell you how amazing this guy is! But he is definitely another hero to me. Let's just list a few of his qualities quickly:

musician
servant leader
father
joker
great soccer player
christian for one year

To hear more about Pantaleon, check out Guy's sermon after he returned to River West on 5/11 http://www.riverwest.org/teaching/index.htm

Also, to check out a video of photos from the trips, go to: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBqW6pm9Us

gaby & kevin update

2008-06-12T08:58:00.000-07:00

Well, I am more then a little behind the times in photos, stories, etc. But fortunately, I was able to see many of you while home and tell you face-to-face about what an amazing time I had with the River West team in Nuevo Renacer. Following will be a series of blog entries focusing on a few different aspects of the trip.

Of course I have to start with Gaby & Kevin. Many of you will remember my two special friends that I have seen literally blossom from painfully shy, timid kiddos on our first visit to two of the most out-going, smilingest, huggingest children in the community today. And our bond still stands. About 4 times of every day, Gaby would come up to me and hug me with all she had and then give me the hugest toothy smile. I would say, “Te amo!” (I love you) and she would say, “Se. Te amo tambien!” (I know. I love you to!) And then she would run off and play with the kids.

Kevin is getting big and turning into a boy and less of a little kid. He is more reserved and definitely seems to be testing his coolness wings. And yet, he would still sneak a moment and give me a hug and smile—but only when no one was looking!

These two little lives are kind of a marker of “success” for me in the community. Every visit I ask how healthy are Gaby & Kevin? How happy? How much do they know about God’s love for them? And every trip I am blown away by how beautiful these two children are. I know I only see them a brief time out of every year, and yet the health and growth is undeniable. Just look at these photos.

After every trip, I update photos of Gaby & Kevin in my house and every day I pray for them, for their parents Alfonso & Marta, their siblings, Maira, Carlos & Claudia and for the community of Nuevo Renacer. And every day I thank God for drawing us together under His banner of love.

kids rock my world

2008-06-12T08:50:00.001-07:00

OK, so one day I was playing with playdough with about 6 kids. Adilson, the cutey in gray and orange pictured here, kept making me jewelry out of playdough and I would wear each piece as long as they lasted. But then I was called away and head to help with something else and handed all of my doughey jewelry back. About 20 minutes later I return and Adilson is directing all of the kids to craft various letters. I wonder what he is spelling out and approach with curiosity. Then I look down and see "Tina es mi ami..." and then the "g" and "a" get slapped down and they all say outloud, "Tina es mi amiga." (Tina is my friend.)

Yea, my heart almost burst. I really do love those little ones! And continue to be amazed at their great gift of loving me. I always go visit the commuity with the thought that I will be loving them--but honestly, they always seem better at it then I do! Thank God for each beautiful one!

trees

2008-06-12T08:48:00.001-07:00

There is always someone that is asking, "Great to hear about the kids, but what did the team DO?" All kinds of stuff, but the primary project was to dig large holes and plant trees around the "traffic" circles to privide shade.

I was always running around, helping the ladies with errands, playing with kids, shooting photos, translating, etc. So I was busy, but I have to be honest to you all--I did not dig a single hole. May the team and the Lord forgive me...

my hero Larry

2008-06-12T08:21:00.001-07:00

I met Larry & Ginny Rodriguez about a year and a half ago. At that point, I had prayed to God that I would move to El Salvador but had created a list of "to-do's" that God would have to meet before I got on a plane. One of those was that I would need to learn some Spanish. And not two days later, I happen to start talking to Larry and he said, "I used to be a Spanish teacher and I was wondering if there might be interest at River West for a Spanish class?" I laughed and said, "Yes, I know for a fact there is!"

And thus began one of the richest new friendships that I have experienced in years. Larry teaches a weekly Spanish class at River West and folks learn spanish, sing songs, read the word, etc. And every bit is good for Spanish training. But more than that we laugh! Larry and his amazing wife Ginny have a gift for bringing joy to a group and making each person feel special and loved. Before Spanish class I had the pleasure of having dinner with Larry & Ginny every week and their love, kindness and humor was always a gift.

But Larry refused to come to El Salvador. He just didn't want to--it seemed hot and hard. He was much happier teaching a class in LO. But through a series of miracles and much prayer, Larry was on that plane coming to San Salvador in April. And from the moment he set foot, he made his mark. He may have had reservations, but they certainly didn't show once he got here. At the welcome ceremony we sang a hymn that Larry & Ginny taught us in Spanish and many of the villagers knew it, so they sang along. It was soo cool. (See attached photo.) Larry translated, taught impromptu English classes and generally, was his sweet, loving self.

And I guess I just have to say that one of the reasons that I so firmly believe in the Christian church is that it brings together people like Larry, Ginny and myself. God draws us together over shared interests--like Spanish. Which is cool! But more then that, God draws us into relationship together. I know that Larry & Ginny pray for me. And you can bet I was praying that Larry would come to El Salvador! And every time we are together that bond remains solid and encouraging and just a little bit of Jesus in my life. And that is so awesome. I hope that you have a Larry & Ginny in your life to!

so much to tell...

2008-06-12T07:56:00.000-07:00

... there is no way I can write down all of the stories of how God worked in April in Nuevo Renacer. Let's just say that we were all touched by God's hand of love and kindness yet again! Our God is good. A few highlights:

playing music with Pantaleon
smores!
making pupusa's with the ladies
Donna reading the Bible with Pantaleon's son, Jose
emotional and ownderfully teary goodbyes

bridge divine

2008-04-21T12:37:00.000-07:00

So I am walking along. And the journey is always changing. And over the past 6 months (yep, it has been 6 months since I left good ol’ PDX) I have learned that God is always creating the path ahead of me. Sometimes it is clearly laid and gleaming—like when I was in final preparations for El Salvador, every need was met by small & large miracles and the support & encouragement from friends & family shed a brilliant light on the way. Sometimes the road seems to drop off and I sense a feeling of free fall and my stomach rises to my throat—like every time I’m presented with something totally new and strange and foreign and hard in some way, shape or form—which is pretty much 10 times of every day here. Sometimes I feel alone—like on a lifeboat but with no drinking water, paddle or even Gilligan to entertain me. And sometimes I feel a nudge on my shoulder and Jesus shows up with a wheel barrel or cement or rocks and says, “I need you to actually sweat a bit and build part of the way as you go.”

And every time I think I know what He has planned next, I am always SO wrong and am back in freefall-land or blisters-on-hands-ville. Or, on the amazing days, smoking cigars with a new friend from the Scandinavian ghetto, celebrating a 2 year old’s birthday by splashing in puddles or watching the stars from my small backyard while listening to Bruce Springsteen (The River, to be exact.) And the weird thing is that in all these moments, somehow I am finding a way to be at home amidst all the journey—somehow I am feeling that wherever God has placed me for this moment is exactly where I am supposed to be—even if I have absolutely no clue why or even know my exact longitude & latitude. And this is a gift of God, because by myself I can not make or fake such peace.

Over the last few years I have found God to consistently be there, wherever there is. Always, I find God is there providing the course and the ground to rest my feet upon and every once in a while, I catch a glimpse and realize how beautiful the path is—it is decorated with scenery from all over the world, dear friends of every shape and size, so much lovely music and the reality that I get to learn a new language, love a bunch of new people and see God work in this crazy, lovely world. And there is a peace in knowing that in my sometimes whiney, sometimes humble, sometimes lonely, sometimes laughing perpetual bumbling, I am still following God exactly where He calls me. And that peace might be the most complete beauty I have ever known. And that is powerful. Actually, it’s intoxicating.

And maybe you’re thinking,, “Jolly for you Tina! Of course you have trials and yet feel all saintly amidst dirt and snakes and weird natives. Congratulations! That is the life of a missionary… Duh, I have read the books and saw the Jim Elliot movie. Why are your surprised by some supernatural sense of placement and purpose and peace. That is what we all expected for you”. And then maybe you wonder, “but what about me? I am a soccer mom or a business person or a retired person or a newlywed”—or whatever title is in on your personal business card these days. And you say, “I’m just living in LO or NOPO or SOHO”—And maybe the sense of divinity is sort of obscured by the monotony of alarm clocks, dentist appointments or subway cars without functioning AC. And I get that, but here is the weird thing that I see so crystal clearly that it sparkles, but I doubt many of you will believe me. I know becoming a missionary means I lost all street cred in the daily business of band practice, marriage spats, retail envy and regular life. But please try to hear me anyway. Everyday that I serve in Central America, I think about you at home and it is clear to me that we are all walking the same journey. Really the active, life-filled, joyful Christian walk boils down to two very simple things:

1. Always following God in total obedience wherever He leads with a willing spirit
2. Loving people as much as you can, while continually learning how to get better at that

All of this sense of placement, peace & purpose has nothing to do with where I am or what I’m specifically doing. It’s really just about following God and then inviting Him into every moment along the way. And as we do that, He shows up and works in our lives and does some really cool stuff—challenges us, blesses us, astounds us, comforts us and continues guiding us. And ultimately He shows us how to love this life, this world and those people all around you in a way that crosses into the divine. And you wake up one morning and realize that there YOU are encircled in this amazing life of rich love and joy—no matter where you are.

So maybe you are currently residing in freefall-land or broken-hearts-town or maybe even fiesta-all-the-time-ton, you see it doesn’t really matter where you are, neither physically or spiritually, God is asking you to invite Him along for the journey. He wants to be your partner in crime in this crazy life—but He is so much more than that. Trust me. Or really, trust Him. He will take you on weird roads in new places, and it will be hard and probably scary—but it will also be awesome—rich with a life you could never even dream of.

Ephesians 3: 14-21 (The Message)My response is to get down on my knees before
the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask
him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner
strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in.
And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take
in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love.
Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to
the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God.

God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us. Glory to God in the church! Glory to God in the Messiah, in Jesus! Glory down all the generations! Glory through all millennia! Oh, yes!

Prayer Requests:

Teams: The River West/Agros team heading to Nuevo Renacer leaves this coming Saturday and the River West/ENLACE team leaves the following Saturday. Please join me in praying for the presence of the Lord for every team member as they are in final preparations. We also pray for all of the communities that they will be serving—that they be encouraged and blessed!
Spanish: Some prayers never change!
Homesickness: And lately, I really miss you all. So please pray that my sense of homesickness be decreased and my sense of what God wants me to do be increased!

PS: If you loved Roby Duke as much as me, check this out:

Bridge Divine http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJkql3_NV3U&feature=related

bienvenido joshua lucas

2008-04-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

So, about 6 weeks ago my missionary friends Cindy & Camilo Blanco moved into my home in preparation for their first son's arrival. Camilo & Cindy have started a church about 2 1/2 hours north of San Salvador and have been living and ministering full time in that community. To read more about the amazing work that they are doing, check out their blog at Ojos de Agua. They moved in with me to remain a little closer to the hospital.

Well, it has been an absolute joy to have them as roommates and God has absolutely blessed me with their friendship over the past weeks. And finally last week it was time for little Lucas to finally make his appearance in the world. I cannot tell you what an exciting time it has been! I've never been around brand new born babies and I am amazed at how perfectly made little Lucas is.

I am simply the proudest Tia any kiddo ever had!

seeing is believing

2008-04-19T20:22:00.001-07:00

In Nuevo Renacer, the Agros community that River West has partnered with over the last 3 years, there is a young woman named Reina. On our first visit to that community, many of us commented on the lack of personal space she allowed us. She seemed to always be right up in someone's face. We wondered aloud why and commiserated on our discomfort. On a subsequent visit, I spent some time with Reina at her home where she proceeded to put on the thickest glasses I have ever seen. (And I am legally blind in my left eye--so I know pop bottle lens!) And it dawned me, she can't see, that's why she gets to close. I asked her why she doesn't wear her glasses out and she said she was embarassed by them.

Having sight issues myself, this interaction really impacted me because I realized that I could be Reina. Even worse, I could be Reina and not even have glasses to be embarassed by. That's the situation of a lot folks in El Salvador. And honestly, without my lens, I'm fairly useless--there is so little I can see clearly and without them I get headaches that eventually can become migraines. Without my lens, I would also be at the mercy of those that could see around me--a potentially dangerous position. Without corrective eye care, my world would be a lot smaller. So eye care for the poor is definitely one of those issues that I am passionate about.

Recently ENLACE had a team from the midwest of eye Doctors and support staff that offered an eye care clinic. They were able to test vision, dilate eyes if needed and distribute glasses to people in the the poor communities of San Martin. Without clinics like this, the people in these communities would have virtually no access to glasses at all. The team was also able to bring down a huge amount of medicine. In many cases they were able to give folks with glaucoma sufficient medication for 1 year. If you aren't familiar, my lay understanding is that glaucoma is a progressive disease in which increased pressure in the eye eventually will lead to blindness. It is the number two cause of blindness in the world. It's pretty cool to know that a few more people will be seeing for a while longer because of a 1 week visit of about 15 caring people!

I have to be honest, I still find myself struggling sometimes wondering why God uprooted my life to bring me here. I feel so clueless so often and helpless and needy... I ask over and over, "What is my purpose? What is my role? Why God, why?" and then a team like the above shows up with love and kindness and they are simply a joy to get to know. And throughout this team's visit I was able to help with some minor translation, answer questions and, I think, provide comedic relief. But most importantly, I hope I was an encouragement to them as they were being an encouragement to the people in San Martin. And that is a pretty cool role and I am honored and blessed just to be of any kind of service in such a cool project. So, I guess they offered eye care, encouraged the communities and were a significant support to me in my new walk with ENLACE. Pretty cool.

Attached are some photos I took that capture some of the week.

one dolla one dolla

2008-04-08T16:36:00.000-07:00

Check out this link: http://www.onedollarwater.com/. It’s brilliant and funny and just may save someone’s life. You can’t beat that with a stick.

so far to travel for Benihana's

2008-04-06T04:33:00.001-07:00

So, I may be North American, but in all my life I have never been to Benihana's. Back in '91, my prom date & I took a picnic dinner up to Ashland's Lithia Park and somehow missed that pivotal destination in teenagedom. Well this past Tuesday, quite a few years to the latter, I found myself circled around a large grill with ENLACE friends and Darcy oohing and ahhing over volcanoes of onions and flying shrimp parts.

And it was so awesome.

Sometimes the mission field is weird in ways one would never, ever expect.

PS: I should note that we were there celebrating my friend Ashley's quinceanera and the photographer of all of these photos is Ela Bueno. (Except of course the cute photo of her in her denim jacket--Darcy, took that one!)

give me a d!

2008-04-06T04:19:00.000-07:00

Well, Darcy left on Thursday and I'm already missing lil' dizzle. As so many of you know, Darcy is the kind of friend that blesses our lives rarely, but when they do we are influenced by their grace and kindness. And I put that grace to a test as I attempted, and primarily failed, to really show her much of El Salvador. You see, I still only know my way around certain key places: home, groceries, work, church...and the beach. So, I guess I am not the best tour guide yet. And yet, I had such a great week just talking to Darc. It felt so good to have that piece of my Portland home here to share in my El Sal home. It was a blessing beyond description to me. And I only wish we had been able to bless Darcy with a better tan to show for her love.

Here are some pics of our time at the ocean, our visit to Juayua and a restuarent with a Hydrangea garden (one of my very favorite flowers), and a pretty door in Suchitoto. Enjoy!

joy is cool

2008-04-06T03:54:00.000-07:00

As many of you at River West already know, this Easter I have been overwhelmed with a feeling of joy. For you River Westers, Guy shared some of the reasons for that joy on Easter Sunday. (Listen to Guy’s Easter message at http://www.riverwest.org/teaching/index.htm ) For all the rest of you, here is what I wrote to the Gray’s that Guy shared:

And yes, Easter is here and boy do I miss you all. It just isn't the
same. But God is so present and near that I am satisfied
nonetheless. Really this is the first Easter I can remember that joy is my
primary emotion--gratitude is in every pore.

Normally Easter is kind of a morose time for me because I am so focused on my sin and the price Christ had to pay for my sin. And yes, I have always celebrated Resurrection Sunday (as Ginny Rodriguez calls it) and am so grateful and relieved that the guilt is washed away and that I live in the risen victory of a risen Jesus—but nonetheless, the overall emotion of the holiday week (or weeks) is kind of sadness ending with a good dose of victory.

Well, this year has been different. Sure, I am removed from my community of faith, family & friends at Easter—such an important annual marker in my faith. And I barely knew any of the songs that we sang on Easter morning—so my ability to worship via song was a bit thwarted. And I am still pretty sin-filled and am still very aware of what responsibility the cross means to my life. And yet, amidst all of this, I feel kind of skippy and happy and so aware of what a lovely world we are all a part of. I know it sounds a bit Pollyanna, but the thing is, it’s true. I have been praying for the past few months that God fill me with His love and really show me how to completely love other people—and I mean love, the real way, the selfless way, the for no reason except Jesus way, the love thy enemy way. As I have prayed for this, apparently the first step was to overwhelm me with God’s deep, abiding, adoring love for me. You see, the more I read the Bible, the more I pray and the more I see God work in relationships in this world, the more I realize how very much God loves the littlest and least of this world—and that certainly includes me. And that truth is so deeply quieting—God really loves me—a LOT—no matter what bonehead maneuvers I pull—ever. I was reading the following in John and I liked how The Message describes God’s lavish gifts and that is what I feel this overwhelming sense of joy is in my heart this season.

John 3:34-36
"The One that God sent speaks God's words. And don't think he
rations out the Spirit in bits and pieces. The Father loves the Son
extravagantly. He turned everything over to him so he could give it away—a
lavish distribution of gifts. That is why whoever accepts and trusts the Son
gets in on everything, life complete and forever! And that is also why the
person who avoids and distrusts the Son is in the dark and doesn't see life. All
he experiences of God is darkness, and an angry darkness at that."
So good. Yes, life is so good for each of us when God is there just loving the stuff out of us all the time. I sure hope you are experiencing that life also—and if you aren’t, I wish you would just try it out—just open yourself up to how God might be able to love you. Trust me when I say that I am the least of you and if he can love me that much—he can do the same for you.

my car still rules!

2008-04-02T05:49:00.000-07:00

Oh, and just so you know, my car still rules! Again I want to say thanks for all of the car prayers. I have used my car quite a bit to help pick up folks at the airport, cart my little “family” around, exploring El Sal and will likely allow the River West team in April use her. I need to get "cow catchers" added to protect her from any accidents. Oooo, she will look so awesome with the her armor on!

After many great suggestions, I finally decided on a name: Teresita. Named a bit after Saint Teresa, who sounds like a lady I would have loved to hang out with.

And here is a poem she wrote that tipped the final naming decision:
Christ has no body now on earth but yours,
no hands but yours,
no feet but yours,
Yours are the eyes through which is to look out Christ's compassion to the world;
Yours are the feet with which he is to go about doing good;
Yours are the hands with which he is to bless men now.

See more poetry here.

my momma!

2008-03-29T19:31:00.000-07:00

Sooo, my mom flew into town for a 10 day tour. Primarily she wanted to see my house, my neighborhood, meet my friends and be able to realy SEE my life here with her own two eyes. It meant so much to me that mom would spend the money & time to just see my world!

We had a really awesome time together working on home projects, cooking and travelling around San Salvador and greater El Salvador. Shane & I painted my back yard wall while mom surpervised. (I chose two potential colors and Shane suggested striping of some kind--well after two longs days of labor, the wall looks awesome and hanging in the backyard is so lovely. ) After the painting, mom & I hit the local nursery and purchased a bunch of flowers and herbs to complete the back yard. See the attached photos--Isn't it cool!? We also visited Price Mart, the local Costco and Super Selectos, the closest super market, A LOT.

And it was fun for here to meet the wonderful people that God has blessed me with here! Currently I have 5 people living in my house and mom quickly won everyone over with her sweet spirit and general momminess--and her awesome tacos. (We ate them twice will she was here!)

Mom flew out Thursday night, after a few tears, and I waited at the airport for a few hours until Darcy flew in! Next update... "Darcy visits Tina in El Salvador!"

antigua spanish school

2008-03-01T20:35:00.000-08:00

In the last 5 months, I have spent 7 weeks in Antigua, Guatemala at the Christian Spanish Academy (CSA).

To give you an idea of what they looked chunk of time looked like, here is my general schedule:

7am - Breakfast
7:30am - Check email at school
8am - Class begins with my maestra Victoria
Noon - Break for lunch
2pm - Return to school

4pm - Finish class for the day, head to the gym

6pm - Get home, do some spanish homework
7pm - Dinner
8pm - More homework and whatever else I want to do...

Yep, it's a pretty full day with lots of class time and then lots of extra spanish speaking time after class. which is awesome and oh so tiring. But I really feel I learned a lot in a short amount of time, so I definitely recommend my program highly.

On both visits, I stayed with the Romero family--Hector, Sandra, Diego & Sofia. They are an amazing family that always made me feel totally at home and helped a lot with my Spanish.

On my first trip to CSA, I was super focused on my Spanish and purposely kept to myself--not thinking I had time for friendships and homework. Not surprisingly, this resulted in some pretty lonely weekends and nights and on my return trip I prayed that I be spared such feelings of loneliness. Well on this visit, I had a fellow housemate named Patrik that was from Sweden & Norway and he was answer to that prayer. Patrik was at my school trying to learn as much Spanish as possible before touring Central America. He was great for me because he actually got me out of my routine a bit and I saw a lot more of Antigua then I would have on my own. He also helped introduce me to people at the school and generally helped me have a much more enjoyable time--whether speaking Spanish or English! Through Patrik, I also met Nick, a fellow American and the three of us spent a great deal of time hanging out in Guatemala. More about them when I finally write about my time at Lago Atitlan.

lago atitlan

2008-03-01T19:41:00.000-08:00

Well, this is about a month past my visit to Guatemala's lovely Lago Atitlan--but better late then never. After 3 weeks of Spanish class, I crammed my class load into four days and took a 3 day weekend along with my friend Patrik and Nick.

It was Valentine's Day weekend and apparently the lake is quite the spot for romance, so most of the hotels we tried were booked. After a few attempst we finally found Hotel De Terraza en San Antonio Polampa. This is a very small Mayan city off the typical tourist circuit with 2 hotels and 2 restaurants. When we got there on Friday afternoon, we were definitely the only 3 gringos in the city.

On our first walk around the city (totalling about 20 minutes including helping a stuck van get back on the road), we met Paulina, a young mayan woman, owner of one of the two restaurants and genereal entrepenuer. This was definitely providence at work because Paulina hooked us up with a boat driver, some meals, some great textiles and generally offered us her friendship from day one.

San Antonio Polompa was cool because I think it was a better view into how some Guatemalans live then in other tourist destinations. Most of the native men still wear the traditional dress made of textiles made by their wives and wrapped around their middle like a skirt. This town was a big producer of the textiles for sale in the cities. So it was cool to be able to buy direct from someone that actually had a loom right in their house.

Friday night we had fried fish and fries and ended our evening with cuban cigars--which are prevalent throughout Central America. It was my very first cigar! But although merely 21, Nick (as you see pictured) was an old pro.

On the Saturday, we rented our own boat and drove around to different lakeside communities. The lake is absolutely spellbinding and I loved just cruising around on the water. My parents live right by Lost Creek Lake in Southern Oregon and we spent many a great summer day on our boat on the lake. I kept thinking how much my dad would have loved to have been in that boat with me!

Sunday we went to a local ecopark that promised a butterfly garden. And we did see 2 moths and 2 monarchs, but that was about it. Mariposa does mean butterfly doesn't it?! Maybe we got the translation wrong and it was some other kind of garden?

All in all, it was a very chill weekend with good friends, laughter and a front row seat to some of the beauty that God created so long ago. I was so blessed by the time--it was renewing, interesting and down right fun. And all weeked long, I kept praising God for being so generous with his blessings. I kept thanking him for being a God that wants me to enjoy the world that He made. A God that takes delight in the smallest details. A God that sent his spirit of restoration, peace and joy so clearly into my 3 day weekend. It is so ridiculous to think that God of All would care about my school break--and yet I saw reminders of His presence everywhere. That is just cool.

So double humbs up on Lago Atitlan. As always, thanks for your prayers and emails. You guys rock!

introducing p 18 487

2008-03-01T19:18:00.000-08:00

THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR PRAYERS!
Here is a direct answer! She is a 1989 Toyota Land Cruiser--diesel, 4-wheel drive, comfortably seats 6. She has been perfectly cared for and is in AMAZING condition for a car that is almost twenty years old. I'm thankful for her age, because it kept the price within my range for such a great car. So far I have driven her twice and each time it has been cake. The power steering works like a charm and she has such dirth that she is incredibly safe. Oh, and she has dual air conditioning and an ice maker/cooler. Yep, you read correctly!

Tomorrow I am heading out to explore some of El Salvador . Yea!!!! I am soo stoked. Thanks for your prayers and keep it up--now I'm on the roads of el salvador--I will definitely need more prayer.

what a little tlc can do

2008-01-26T18:15:00.000-08:00

While I was home for the holidays, a lot of you commented that you like photos--so I am making an effort to take more pictures along the way and post them. A lot of you also liked the photos of my house because it helped you imagine where I was living. Well, after two weeks of appliance shopping, deliveries, gifts of randomn furniture from friends, etc, etc. phase 1 of my new lil home is done! And I thought I would share some pics. Check out the original photos of the house here to get an idea of how far we have come in a short time! the house in October

It has been really cool to see how everything came together to create a space that I feel comfy in that I could also afford. It's been a lot like college, where you take whatever anyone gives you and just find ways to cover it up if it needs a little cutening. My brother Pat gave me $100 at Christmas and I went directly to IKEA and purchased as many cheap, cute curtains and fabrics as I could. In the end, I have used every piece of fabric in some way and each has brought a sweet, freshness to the house.

I started sleeping here about 2 weeks ago and without a stove or fridge my food options have been limited. Two years ago my mom gave me an electric kettle and Jenny Dale gave me an AWESOME Starbucks thermal french press. My cousin Randy gave me a Starbucks gift card and I purchased a burr grinder. So the top priority--GOOD coffee has greeted me every morning. Ahhh, life is good. And I was also able to use the kettle to heat up water for oatmeal or ramen--yes, there are sooo many ways my life is similar to college right now. And Michelle gave me a ton of kitchen stuff that allows me to eat, cut things, dry my dishes and many of those "must haves" that just add up.

I was surprised initially to learn that I had to buy ALL my appliances. Think about that in a rental! And appliances are generally more expensive here then in the states. Gulp! But God truly provided everything that I needed, all for great prices. Yesterday I made iced tea--using my stove and my fridge. It was the tasty tea ever!

Dave & Jenny gave me a great big desk that has been a life saver to work from. I splurged a tiny bit and bought a new bed--rather then used from downtown markets--hoping to save my back from future problems and because honestly I am afraid of bed bugs. So I have been sleeping soundly. I also hung a cable curtain rod and have photos of all my friends, so every day I remember that they are all with me in spirit.

Even the weird "closet room" that initially freaked me out--why does one need an entire room for a closet?--has been an unknown blessing because I don't need any bedroom furniture. Everything I own can fit in 1/4 of the closet, including clothes, camping gear, hardware, luggage, everything!

And finally the walls were all painted in shades of warm yellow--sounds scary but looks great! And yes, that is me waving at you in my tiny bathroom.

Again, thank you for your prayers, contributions, etc. It's always so important for me to feel cozy at home, but I also wanted to create a space where guests could come and feel welcome. Everything here has been kept on the cheap, but I have been able to purchase every must have item. What a blessing!

home for Christmas

2008-01-26T12:19:00.001-08:00

Oh, by the way, I had a WONDERFUL trip home for Christmas. I am so thankful for all of the great time with friend and family. I thought I would recap with a few photos of a few moments:

*Dance Party #2 - You got love a basement with some good lights and a dj.

*Kitties!! - I cannot express how nice it was to be home and cozy up with Pearl & Oly. I mean look at this furry little face!

*A Snowy Christmas - This is Lost Creek Lake, about 10 minutes from my parents house. As you can see, it was pretty breathtaking with a lovely dust of new snow.

*Dance Party #3 - You just can't get enough dance party in! Here I am smacking hips with DJ Danny-izle on New Year's Eve.

Yea, good times...

It's the little things

2008-01-26T06:07:00.000-08:00

So, one of the great truths about being in El Sal is that I have been virtually helpless--relying on the continual kindness of new friends. And this has been a good thing--teaching me humiltiy, building friendships, etc.

That being said, there is also a lot of room here for me to bust out of comfort zones and try to wobble on my own two feet. For example, I was hungry the other night, but the stove still wasn't working and the frig wasn't here yet. So I decided it was time to try to order pizza on my own. I was tempted to call my lifelines--Dave, Jenny, Michelle--and ask them to order for me, but decided that at some point I just need to try it on my own. It may as well be now. And so I said a prayer and dialed the local pizza hut (they are all over the place down here) and started my conversation with “Lo siento, pero yo hablo espanol muy malo…”--"I'm sorry, but I speak Spanish poorly." What proceeded was I'm sure a comical exchange, but I only understood a bit of what the woman was asking me, so I can't tell you for sure. And slowly but surely I thought I understood and was able to express that I wanted a pepperoni pizza for delivery with orange soda. I was able to give her my address and directions to my house--although she put me on hold for about 5 minutes as she confered with someone about my directions. Yep, I prayed again. And finally, I was able to make out that I should see the delivery guy in about 15 minutes.

Of course, that is what I thought happened, but honestly, I had no clue if I was able to communicate properly. Normally when I order food here, I get something totally different then what I thought I ordered, or twice as much as what I thought I ordered or nothing at all and I've just learned to be flexible in what I eat and to keep trying. And so I said a third prayer and waited for the delivery.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, Humberto showed up with my pizza! I have never been so elated to see a pizza delivery guy! I swear I almost kissed him. (Who knows, a few more deliveries and maybe I will be dating him...) AND he delivered what I thought I ordered--so double whammy! And as I sat down to eat my greasy delight, my meal time prayer was of simple thanksgiving.

Even the simplest task is still kind of hard for me here. And sure, that can be frustrating, but the cool part is that each task requires me to really ask God to help and to trust that he will. And oddly enough, he does help even with silly things and then I'm just filled with thankfulness for a pizza hut pizza. And that is a really great place to be--so thankful for so little--and I hope that one of the things that will stick with me in the years to come is learning to remain in that attitude of reliance, trust and thankfulness.

Today you should try something out of your comfort zone. It might be harder for you to find those opportunities in the comfort of your own culture, but they are there. We all have self-imposed limits. So pick one and step out--see what happens. I bet you will be grateful that you did!

declaration number 6

2008-01-21T05:51:00.000-08:00

Oh God, my present & ever present savior. You created the universe in all its detail—the vast galaxies and the smallest cell. You thought of everything—colors, scents, the lilt of music, the touch of a kiss & the perfect pitch of a giggle. You took our broken world and made a plan of restoration through your Son, the ultimate sacrifice. Truly, you thought this existence thing out.

And that is to be expected, because you are God. Creation & completion is what you do.

But there is more. I feel you in my heart—and not in a Sunday-School-flannel-graph kind of way, but like the blood in my veins, I feel your very Spirit coursing through me. Which is weird and normally I would be afraid of something so hibbity gibbity. I would be scheming for safety & comfort. I would stand very still in one place waiting for you & your will to pass by me. But now I feel a confidence in the you I am beginning to know and I find myself trusting in the direction of your Spirit.

And this creates a peace in me, because you are God. Peace is a gift you give.

In that peace, I get a glimpse of truth. You see, I know that this is not me. On my own, I have no real capacity for true peace or joy or kindness. Sure, I have fits and spurts—but no consistent fountain of true love. Left to my own devices, my heart gets hard, my spirit gets critical and I close myself away. But through you, and your spring of selfless love, I am able to see the people in my life and I have to recognize that each person is a unique gift created by a big God. And rather than focus so much on what is missing or broken or subpar, I am getting better at seeing people for what they have to give and not just what I can get. And somehow that seems to totally change my perspective on life in general. It’s so much more about who I’m with then where I’m going or what’ I’m doing.

And this truth is that real love not only frees me from myself, but allows me to love others so much more because you are God. Life-changing love is your signature.

I am continually amazed by this life that you have given me. It has totally changed again but rather than freaking out, I am just expectant and elated to walk this road with you. I am open to whatever you have in the coming months and years and generally have let go of the reigns.

And I feel a new joy. I am kind of giddy because you are my God.

And so, I praise you. You are Creator. You are the Prince of Peace. You are Savior. You are Love and you are here with me. You are God and I give all to you: my family, my friends, my church, my job, my cozy home, even my kitties—my life. And I thank you for every moment that I can bring a ray of your glory, yep I said glory, to this lovely little world that you made.

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

making my list, checking it twice

2008-01-20T21:37:00.000-08:00

When Gerry comes to El Salvador he keeps tally of all the ways that God provides throughout the week trip. I did a quick tally today of the blessings of the last week. What an awesome exercise to see God providing every day. And to see God build on his providence each day. Below is my example, but this was an awesome exercise. You should try it this week!! God is good.

Thursday—Thanks for your prayers for my residency card. Coming through immigration was a cinch with my brand new residency card in hand. Prayer Answered—For an easy process getting my residency.Got my house keys and excitedly took a load of luggage over with Jenny. Prayer Answered—As a direct answer to prayer, it was bigger then I had remembered! Also just finding the home, in my budget, right near friends, etc was an answer to prayer.Had dinner with a team that had just finished a week doing a medical mission I Abilenes—the most remote community we work in. It was cool to meet the team and hear a tiny bit about how the week had impacted them. Prayer answered—that God would continue to help me understand why He has called me here and what is so cool about the work of ENLACE.
Friday—
Um, nothing inspirational. I just caught up on sleep and chilled. Prayer answered—To get some rest amidst all of the business of setting up the new life here.
Saturday—Started a new Bible study with about 8 other women at my new church. It was so great to meet some new ladies and generally a really great time talking about life and God. Prayer answered—For new relationships and community in El Sal.Michelle took me to a new store in town and I bought a bed & a kitchen table—the first two priorities on my must have list. Prayer answered—For the easy set up of my home.Had a greta day just hanging out with Ron, Michelle and their family. Prayer answered—Relationships, relationships, relationships.
Sunday—
A great service at Union Church & great worship—Prayer answered—That Sundays at Union Church would give me a good space to worship and connect with God more—that this new church home would start to feel like home.More appliance shopping. Prayer answered—Appliances prices lowering!
A great dinner with the McGee’s. Prayer answered—Relationships continuing to grow.
Monday—ENLACE weekly prayer time. During the group prayer time, a young woman named Lucy prayed for me for about 10 minutes. Prayer answered—For continued reassurance from God that this is where he wants me. Also the development of new friendships.Alejandro help with furniture. Prayer answered—Free stuff for the house! Help with Spanish some and continued relationship building. More shopping. Prayer Answered—Prices on Frig dropping more!Invitation from Dave a Jenny for dinner every night this week while I wait for appliances. Prayer answered—Isn’t dinner with friends always an answered prayer? Now imagine every night in a week! But specifically an answer to my fear of being lonely in ES.
Tuesday—
I put stuff away all day. Prayer answered—That I packed better then I thought and really had everything I needed to stay at the new house. My first night in the house! Yahoo!
Wednesday—
Dara at my house at 8:15 ready to shop! Prayer answered—More time getting to know Dara, got an entire page of to-do’s done and got to have lunch with her cute 2 daughters (that remind me sooo much of Lauren & Bridget McMurry.)Alejandro & a day of great appliance buying deal. Prayer answered—I think Alejandro was that miracle that I needed to make it all happen fast. He helped in everyway and I came home with a washer, dryer and stove all within budget! Ladies night at Dara’s house. Prayer answered—a great time in prayer with new friends. I feel like God is just taking me to deep places with new friends so quickly. So awesome!
Thursday—
That’s today! I made breakfast in my new house!
A great time spent with Michelle that was so encouraging and challenging and deep. Prayer answered—Relationships that bless, encourage and challenge are the most awesome ever and help me feel at home here.

errands are opportuniities to see God

2008-01-20T21:35:00.000-08:00

Well, I have been back in El Salvador one full week and it is good to be home. Yep, I said ithome. Portland will always be home to me, but I can definitely say that last week I was ready to get back to the life God is creating for me in El Salvador. And since my first day back, I have felt more and more at home in this new life. Thank you for all of your prayers—I know this peace is a result of your faithfulness to keeping me in your prayers. What a blessing you all are to me!

This week has primarily been all about settling into my new home. I got the keys last Thursday! It’s a very small townhouse with no appliances or furniture. I sent a few days unpacking and by the grace of God, I actually did a pretty good job packing what I could bring with me via a plane, so I didn’t have to start from scratch. I forgot some of what I packed and when I saw that a can opener was $12 here, I was very relieved to find my bag of kitchen ware!

Although there is much that would not fit on a plane! So I have been dragging every one I know here out on shopping adventures looking for the very best deals, determining what is a must have & what can wait and trying to get everything set up, so I can cook, eat & sleep. And God has provided in every way—even in ways that I couldn’t imagine. On top of lots of good deals on appliances and furnishings (and free couches, house goods and other items from generous friends here) the place is already starting to look like a home and I was even able to make myself coffee and breakfast this morning and do a load of laundry today!

But so much more then the carting of housewares from stores to my house, has been the rich time spent with friends. Since I don’t have a car yet (coming soon…), I have had to rely on friends to drive me around. And while I hate inconveniencing already busy folks, it has been such a blessing to hang out with Jenny, Dave, Dara & Michelle as we drive about. I even got to practice some Spanish as my friend from ENLACE, Alejandro, not only drove me all around in his flat bed truck, but also helped negotiate better deals, practiced Spanish with me, helped me load everything out of the truck into the house and even hooked up the washer for me. And no I will not be dating Alejandro, he is married with kids—I know how you people think!

It has been enlightening to see how my need to rely on others has created so many opportunities to encourage and be encouraged. It’s been so great! So often we are God’s voice to one another and yet in our self-sufficient culture I wonder how many opportunities we miss in the name of convenience. So let me encourage you this week, call a friend and share some time together. Run an errand together. Just go on a drive together. Or better yet, go to Stumptown with a friend and drink a latte for me while you talk about what God is doing in your life—or what you wish God was doing in your life—or who is God anyway and can you believe in Him? I bet you will be surprised how an hour shared discussing the big things of life can actually make them seem a bit smaller and more manageable. And when you are done talking, take 5 minutes and pray together. Ask the God of creation to respond to your questions, concerns and cares, express your love for your friends and enjoy the time you have together. I know it seems kind of basic and maybe a bit weird to those of you that don’t believe in God—but just try it. I know that it will impact you as it has me this week. And when it does, email me and tell me all about it.

And remember that just as Paul says repeatedly in his letters, I pray for you all continually. I guess it’s my little way of being with you—to talk to God about you. And as He continues to build a whole beautiful community for me and provide for my every need in here in El Salvador, I know He is doing the same for you.

friends...

2007-11-26T10:38:00.000-08:00

Oh, and here is a cute shot of the ladies weekend in antigua! (Jenny & Cindy came up for a fun weekend and to help me take the bus successfully without a total freak out! They spoil me! The rest happened to also becoming for a quick Christmas shopping trip.) I am in the front row with Priscilla, (Michelle's sister) and the back row starts with Jenny on the left, then Cindy, Dara and finally Michelle.

Aren't we cuuuute?

Antigua is Pretty

2007-11-26T10:35:00.001-08:00

Here are some shots of pretty Antigua.

More art

2007-11-26T10:20:00.000-08:00

For your viewing pleasure!

art in el salvador

2007-11-24T07:25:00.000-08:00

I know that a lot of you think that I have moved to a land of volcanoes and snakes to live in a mud hut, but the reality is that San Salvador is an urban center for El Salvador and there are many moments of light and culture. You just have to look for them a bit!

Thankfully my dear friend Jenny is an amazing artist and has already been introducing to some aspects of the art world in El Sal. She is hoping to join a collective of local artists called the FabriK and I got to tag along to an amazing art show about two weeks ago. Below are a few of the pieces that I particularly loved and a shot of Jenny, Jonathan and myself in front of Jenny's piece.

To see more of Jenny's artwork, visit: http://www.daveandjenny.org/ Much of her work is for sale and would make a beautiful Christmas gift, as well as support missionaries in El Salvador. So, you can buy a piece of art that is gorgegous and help make the world a better a place. If anyone is interested, contact me or Jenny and I can probably bring artwork home with me when I return on Dec. 13th!

my date for thanksgiving

2007-11-24T07:19:00.000-08:00

OK, I have commited to telling the good, the blessed AND the ugly. Well, the ugly truth is that on Thursday I was so homesick that I couldn't bear going out and eating a Thanksgiving meal by myself. Turkey is great and all, but Thanksgiving is about having friends and family near and sharing in a day of thanks. Well, with no one here, I was kind of a sorry sack. And by the time I got around to dinner, I just didn't have any heart left and found myself standing by McDonalds. And so I sat in the McDonald's garden in Antigua (which is actually quite beautiful) across from this wicked clown man statue and ate fries. Trust me, I missed every single one of you on Thursday!

2007-11-22T10:51:00.000-08:00

Gratitude – Thanksgiving 2007

For about a year now, I have been compelled to write about gratitude. There is so much to be thankful for! I see signs of God’s grace and abundance all around me and I really do want to just shout out all of the reasons that I have to be thankful for everyone to hear!

But every time I sit down to write, I am at a loss because the list gets so long so quickly. And this truth quiets me because the reality is that there is no trumpet loud enough, there are no words eloquent enough to truly describe the deep well of gratitude within my spirit. There is actually no response that I could ever give that would be appropriate.

And I realize that all I can say is thank you. It isn’t enough. It does not articulate my gratitude in the slightest. The words do not play the song that I feel deep inside as a response to so much richness. (I know that sounds a little bit sound of music-ish for me, but it’s true…) The words can’t show you how I walk the streets of El Salvador and now Guatemala, continually buzzing with thankfulness for you—each one of you. I could send thank you cards every week and that still wouldn’t do it.

And so I sit in silence and simply say a pray of thanks:
I am thankful for
each one of you that has enriched and blessed my life in so many ways.
I am
thankful for a family that always supports me in whatever crazy ideas I
pursue.
I am thankful for new friends that bring laughter and joy into my new
life.
I’m thankful for old friends that know me like a book and love me so
much anyway.
I am thankful for God’s work in El Salvador and for including me
in it.
I’m thankful for the people of El Salvador because they share beauty
with me in ways that lighten my path.
I’m thankful for friends and family
that so generously continue to partner in this work in words, prayers and
financially.
I’m thankful for River West—my heart’s home.
I’m thankful for
ENLACE—where my journey gets interesting!
I’m thankful for good music and
people that can play guitar in my life.
I am thankful for good Spanish
teachers!
I’m thankful for the internet, hand made chocolates and cute
shoes.
And I’m thankful for planes into El Salvador because they will bring
some of you to me in the months to come.

And this thanksgiving, I have to say that everything on this list is all a
direct result of God’s hand on my life. And as we turn the corner towards
Christmas, let me encourage you to take a moment to be thankful for the most
precious and powerful gift ever. For me, all blessings flow from that
night in December.

Psalm 34:1-4
I will bless the LORD at all times;
His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul will make its boast in the
LORD; The humble will hear it and rejoice. Magnify the LORD with me, and let us
exalt His name together.

And in Spanish: Bendeciré a SEÑOR siempre; Su alabanza estará continuamente en mi boca. Mi alma hará su alarde en el SEÑOR; La voluntad humilde lo oye y rejoice. Magnifique a SEÑOR con mí, y exalt su nombre junto.

Love you all & miss you all terribly today.
PS: Shelle & Liser – Be sure to make some mashed potatoes in my honor! Aunt Sue- I am using my emergency $20 for Thanksgiving dinner tonight in Antigua! I might even have enough left over for a pedicure!

oh and two more!

2007-11-16T08:50:00.001-08:00

Ooo, these are so good. Here is our tiny team with Pastor Miguel. I love these guys so much that I even let them take a photo of me from below. (Yep, the dreaded double chin angle!)

And on the last night in Las Delicias some of the kiddos that we had been hanging with all week wrote our names in the cement. I get pretty emotional just looking at this shot. Of course, that is a bit overwhelmed by giggles when I think about how the kids came up with spelling Shane's name "Chet." Oh yea, that nickname will stick!

But truly, what a gift to be known and so remembered by our friends in Las Delicias. It makes me want to go out and haul some tiera right now!

how to build a muro

2007-11-15T23:10:00.000-08:00

It's sounds easy, but just wait! Here are the steps in case you want to build your very own tire retaining wall!

1. Get tires - a lot
2. Get dirt - a whole lot
3. Clear the ground & make it level.
4. Lay down tires & start cramming dirt in with your handy pala.
5. Repeat these steps over and over
6. Build a small cement volcano and shovel until your arms want to fall off.
7. Load said cement into any available bucket, barrel or bowl.
8. Make a lovely cement floor at the top of your muro and toss cement into all available holes in the wall.
9. Let dry.
10. Start over on some other part of the hill that is washing away with the rains.

All I have to say is that Pete, Mike & Shane are all amazing in my eyes. They worked like animals all week and absolutely gave all of their hearts. Good stuff.

Ana Maria's House

2007-11-10T18:23:00.000-08:00

Since I will be traveling around so much, I am not planning on moving into my new place until January. So I have been staying at a few different spots. Below are a few pics of Ana Maria's home where I have spent the majority of time thus far. For $70 a week, I get a room, a cold shower and breakfast and dinner. And Ana Maria is a mother to all and has graciously cared for me, helped correct my Spanish, done laundry, etc, etc. If you ever come to El Salvador for a while, I highly recommend trying to stay with Ana Maria! This week, I will try to get a photo of Ana Maria to post on her as well.

The 80’s Live On

2007-11-09T20:17:00.000-08:00

A while back, my friend Wendy declared that she did not know any other person that had so embraced the return of the 1980’s—her tone implied that this was a problem of some kind. And I quickly admitted that I kind of like the 80’s and I will proudly wear my checkerboard vans for many years to come!

Well, about two weeks ago, I was sitting on the front porch of my home stay earnestly discussing the merits of Michael Jackson, Journey & the Police—in Spanish! I even got into an argument about where Madonna was born (Bay City, Michigan if you didn’t know!) And afterwards, I realized that El Salvador and I have one major thing in common—an appreciation for the decade that brought the world jelly shoes, Cyndi Lauper and Boy George. Of course, in an effort for international relations, I had to actually admit almost all of the 80’s bands that I still love, but my new friend Shane was the only witness and has promised to take my embarrassing music preferences to the grave.

And it was pretty amazing being able to grunt out some sense of meaning in my horrible Spanish. It was a first glimpse of what all of these classes and hours might bring. Thanks for your continued prayers, as I continue to study and will attempt to speak beyond MTV in the coming months.

The New House

2007-10-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

Here is the new house! It is tiny, but right in my budget, in a safe & nice plazuela and will be perfect. This home is an answer to many of the prayers that YOU prayed for ME. So thank you!!!

I plan to move in January after all of my travels for Spanish training & my return home at Christmas.

And there will always be a guest room available for any visitors! So book your tickets now. ;)

Pastor & Leader Retreat

2007-10-26T21:04:00.000-07:00

Here are a few photos from the retreat. To see more, with me actually in them, go see the ENLACE slideshow

2007-10-26T21:01:00.000-07:00

THE SHORT VERSION:
I arrived in El Salvador last Tuesday morning and by Wednesday morning I had a bag packed and was on my way to ENLACE’s annual Pastor’s & Leaders retreat. It was sooo cool. Thanks to those of you that kept us in your prayers.

LOOKING FOR SPACE:
I had no clue what to expect, but primarily was looking forward to a personal time of prayer and Bible study—after all of the chaos of preparations to leave, I was craving more time with God. And I figured it couldn’t hurt to meet some more of the ENLACE staff, as well as some of the key Pastors and leaders from some of the local partner churches.

& FINDING IT:
We stayed at a rustic retreat center for 3 days and spent time in prayer and Bible study. Ron is a dynamic preacher with a unique gifting for taking complex ideas and breaking them down into understandable chunks. I was greatly challenged and encouraged by the messages that he shared over the 3 days. And prayer with a bunch of Central American church leaders is a passionate and emotional experience. And was so touched when the church leaders prayed for the ENLACE staff on the last day and I was included in the blessing. We also spent wonderful times at meals together and playing games. (Yes, within days of being in-country Ron & Dave were able to get me in a sack race and an egg toss. Miracles will never cease…) So there was a perfect balance of time in meditation and times just kicking it with new friends and co-workers.

& FINDING MORE:
And after so many retreats in my life, you would think I would know that there is always an impact when you join others and set aside time to hear God’s voice. Well, thanks to Dave, Pete & Ron, many of the sessions were translated for me—so I knew a lot more about what was being discussed then I planned.

And what a great start to my time here! I was able to see ENLACE’s primary focus on Biblically based training played out throughout the weekend, but was also able to hear from Pastors about what God is doing in and through THEM. And those were really the golden moments—hearing how empowered local churches were reflecting Christ’s sacrificial love and transforming their communities with that love. And I was also struck by what deep faith and hope these leaders shared by joining together to dream and expect great things together for their congregations. They were not dwelling on their limitations, but were looking forward with trust & confidence in God’s blessing.

WE GET TO BE A PART OF THAT BLESSING:
And in a week, a small team from River West will come here and we will paint the exterior of a water tank and probably do a small-scale work project at the Buen Samaritano (Good Samaritan) church. I am so excited to be able to actually be the hands and feet that help answer one of the prayers of one my new friends from the retreat.

As always, please keep this great work in prayer!

In His Grace,
-Tina
PS: I have posted some photos at my blog in case you want to see some faces from the event & we have also posted a slideshow and video at the ENLACE website. Check ‘em out!

My Shortest Email Ever

2007-10-26T21:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I have suffered my first trial in missions—no internet access for 5 days. Pray for me friends… J
Below is an email that I tried to send on Tuesday when I got here.
In His Grace,
-Tina
__________________________________________________________________________________
Hello Friends!
I’m here safe & sound! Dave, Jenny & Jonathan are already making me feel right home.

Note that I have a new email address: tanderson@enlaceonline.org. My River West email will close in another week or so. SO, change it in your address book now, so my emails down get stuck in junkmail!

God is good.

Taking a ride on an aeroplane

2007-10-26T20:58:00.000-07:00

Hello Wonderful Friends-

The Answered Prayers Just Don’t Stop!
Down to this very moment, I have felt so incredibly blessed. This journey began merely 6 months ago and I have been consistently and overwhelmingly blessed over and over. Thank you for being such a huge part of that blessing through your prayers, donations, hugs and encouraging words. It has made all the difference! And as I prepare to leave this afternoon, I have the feeling that I am truly ready for this. Mind you, I know this will be the hardest thing I have ever done and yet, I know that with all of your support and with God’s great strength and love, there is really nothing that He can’t do through me. It’s a pretty amazing feeling! I promise to keep you posted on what is happening the whole way!

Prayer Hour
In particular, one of my favorite things to do in recent months has been meeting with friends and praying for El Salvador each month. It has been a joy and an honor to sit together with people with two simple desires—to thank God for His work in our lives and to seek His will for our lives & the people of El Salvador. We have prayed for Nuevo Renacer, ENLACE, and even each other. And I am reminded why we do this—it is so encouraging…and healing…and empowering. Truly there is a real and beautiful power in gathering together to pray. Thanks for all of you that have shared in those times with me. It has been the power behind everything that is happening right now. And I wanted to share some of the effects of your prayers:

Budget Raised! – In God’s great and awesome providence and through your sacrificial giving, I have raised my goal amount for my annual budget through one-time gifts and monthly commitments. AND I am most of the way towards the funds I will need to purchase a safe and reliable truck. This simply blows me away and every little bit has added up to meet my financial needs! Now I can head to El Salvador with a great deal of peace that I can take the level of Spanish classes that I will need, I can buy myself a bed when I get there and enjoy food, electricity and clean water. I can even afford a trip home at Christmas! God is good and you have all been pieces of His providence in my life. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!
Prayer Team is still going – One of my consistent prayers has been that the monthly prayer times that I have started that focus on El Salvador would continue. Well, at our last gathering Sheri Harkavy offered to help keep the ball rolling. I cannot even begin to express what a great peace and joy it brings to think about my River West family gathering together to pray for El Salvador and encourage one another. It actually brings a few tears to my eyes. You know that saying, “Out of sight, out of mind”?—Well, I think that is every missionaries fear and it blesses me so richly to know that friends will continue to gather to pray for El Salvador, ENLACE and for me personally. Awesome!
Spanish – Well, my Spanish is still terrible. I eavesdrop on every Spanish conversation that I pass and I understand virtually nothing and certainly could not respond if asked. And yet, oddly, I am at peace about it. (That might change when I hit the ground tomorrow morning…hehe) I guess my feeling is that I put in what effort I could and I think that will help. As soon as the River West team leaves in November, I am heading to Guatemala for intense immersion classes and I figure that will help really solidify things. And otherwise, I will just HAVE to speak. I will probably sound like a 3rd grader, but so be it!! God has provided in every single way thus far and I know that this prayer will be answered in a mighty way.
Transition – It’s hard to leave a place you love and yet, ALL of your support has helped me continue following this journey. I leave with complete confidence that this is the right direction and that some pretty cool things will be the result both in my life and in all of your lives. Isn’t it cool how one step of faith can impact us all? Not that my step is so great—everything has been provided for me, at this point it isn’t really faith, as much as just common sense—but as I see you all have faith in what God is doing through me, as I see you step up to give, pray, donate suitcases and other supplies, offer to come visit, etc. it strikes me that a current has been set in motion and God is reaching around the world through this small action and yet, it touches of you and then you continue it forward with your support and next it will impact some stranger in El Salvador. It really seems like a very tangible way of sharing the many blessings in my life and your lives, but it also seems to be moving people to greater knowledge of God’s love for them—and isn’t that really what it is ALL about—sharing God’s love with one another. It is so good to be a part of this and I am so psyched to continue bringing you along side me.
So Much Luggage – Thanks everyone for all of the luggage! I was able to pack quite a few bags for the teams coming in November to check as their second bags and deliver to me. So I won’t have to pay a dime for shipping any of my possessions to El Salvador. Sooo Awesome!
Everyone meet Ginger – She is an answer to prayer! Ginger will be moving into my room shortly! She is a great girl that is nice, loves the Lord and works with orphans in Africa. I could not have hand-picked a better replacement for my sweet home and my sweet roomies! Yes!
Car still for sale – Well, I got 4 calls to buy the car yesterday! Yahoo. But then a friend backed into the car and dented the hood some. So, I took it off Craig’s List and am hoping to speak with insurance folks today. Thankfully both Darcy & my parents have offered to help show the car & sell it once we can get the dented hood fixed. ;) It’s so awesome to have folks willing to help take care of that detail while I am gone. So keep praying for a quick turn-around for the fix and that this won’t impact the sell of the car beyond a brief delay.

And I could go on and on with so many more answered prayers, but I actually need to finish packing. ;)
My next email should be from San Salvador!

I sure love you all!

Down to the Wire

2007-10-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

Down to the Wire
Well, I am down to 11 days remaining. Wow! I am super stoked to get down to El Salvador, start settling into life and begin really learning Spanish! Thanks for all of your prayers, support, etc. thus far.

The Nitty Gritty
Many of you have asked about my preparations—some out of interest about what one has to do to “enter the mission field” and some because you wander if there is any tangible way that you can help. Well, there are a few final details that I would love to share with you guys for your prayer and potentially your help.

I need your old luggage – I am not shipping any furniture or possessions down because shipping is cost prohibitive (and I don’t really own anything of real value—it’s just all cute looking.) So, my plan is to get as much of my life into my luggage as necessary. Initially I will fly down with two huge duffle bags! And then I hope to convince a few folks coming down on the November trip to also bring some additional luggage. Rather then buy luggage, which I will likely only use once, I was hoping that a person or two has some old duffles or luggage that I can use. At this point I am looking only for large and extra large pieces (as close to, but no larger then the limit of 62 total inches length+width+height.) If you have something, let me know and I will arrange a way to get in the next few days.
Looking for a good roomie – Leaving on a grand adventure is awesome, but is also means leaving behind dearly loved friends. Most of you know my long-time roomie Darcy Carroll and she is looking for a woman to replace me in our lovely little house. Darcy has been so supportive and encouraging, even though my departure has shaken up her world some. I am praying for a really great woman to fit into the house with Darcy and Jennifer Dale—who just moved in a month or so ago. The bedroom is small, but rent is great at $350 and the downstairs part of the house is fully furnished, including a dishwasher, washer/dryer, etc. There is a great yard that many of you have enjoyed for numerous BBQs. It’s a really lovely home in the Burlingame neighborhood of Portland which is about 10 minutes from the church and 10 to downtown. I5 access is super easy. Anyway, please join me in prayer for someone asap and let Darcy know darcycarroll@hotmail.com If you can think of anyone looking for a great place to live.
Looking for a Car? – I bought my Toyota Corolla LE about 2 years ago and have loved every minute of it! Truly, this I my first car that just runs reliably and well. And to be honest, I have tried multiple schemes to NOT sell my car, so it can be waiting for me. But in the end, that is kind of silly—a car is a car—and I really need a car in El Salvador. Every cent I can get towards a car, means the safer, more reliable whatever I get will be—and that’s most important! And it is pretty likely that I will be using a car to transport teams, even River West teams—in the future, so the nicer the better for everyone. Which means, I need to just sell my car. It is a 4 door 5 speed manual with 123K mileage (but it’s a Toyota, so it will probably run for another 100K). The tires are new and I just had the belts changed and some other tune-up work. It has a good stereo CD player, AC, Auto windows and doors, and cruise control. AND a cool spoiler thing on the back. I’m asking $4600. If you are interested or know anyone interested, let me know.

Thanks again for all of your amazing support. I have a lot more to say about that, but for now just wanted to get this info out in case any of you know anyone that can help me out!

In His Grace,
-Tina

Roby Duke Benefit Follow Up

2007-10-13T15:13:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone-

I just wanted to post a quick follow up and say Thank you to River West and Roby Duke for an amazing evening a couple of weeks ago. The concert was amazing. Truly, you should check out Roby's music if you haven't already. He can play a guitar so well it will make you hurt and he can swing so sweetly that you will want to cry and somehow he combines those things to create the most lovely music.

It was also awesome to share an evening with so many wonderful friends. Even my parents and brothers were able to make it for the evening. I truly felt like the princess at the ball and it was such a wonderful gift. So thank you, thank you, thank you.

And also thanks to everyone that donated to help me purchase a car in El Salvador. In the end, I believe we raised around $3500 and once I sell my car, I think we should have enough to purchase me something reliable and hard core for all of those crazy dirt roads in El Sal. The real question is, who is going to teach me to drive like a Salvadoran?

God is so good and you continue to be answers to my prayers!

BENEFIT CONCERT with Roby Duke!

2007-09-10T07:23:00.000-07:00

Well, this continues to be an exciting journey of God providing more then I can think to ask. I still have a little more funding to raise before I meet my annual living expenses budget, but I am very, very close. (Quite a few people have told me that they have checks yet to mail and I am pretty sure that will meet the goal, but they aren’t in yet, so I am still waiting to count the final figures...) My goal has been to get that amount raised and then start thinking about the additional items that would benefit my ministry, but were not absolutely necessary--things like a car. But now that I am almost completely funded, I have been turning my prayers and attention to these additional needs. And almost as soon as my prayers began, an amazing opportunity just fell into my lap.

Roby Duke has been one of my favorite musicians since High School. He is an amazing guitarist, songwriter and singer. In recent years, he has played at River West a few times and each time I have been awed and encouraged by his music, his story and his sense of humor. Well, he happens to be coming through Portland in two weeks and has agreed to do a benefit concert to help me raise funds to purchase a safe and reliable car in El Salvador. So, not only do I get to hear one of my favorite musicians play, but there will also be an opportunity for me to also share about the work of ENLACE and why I am packing my bags & partnering with this amazing ministry full-time. And, as if that wasn’t enough, River West is going to help put on the whole event, so I don’t even have to stress the details. So cool!

So come on out!
Tickets go on sale this Sunday at River West, if you don’t attend the church but are interested in coming, let me know and I can make arrangements to get you tickets. To hear some of Roby’s music, check out his latest album at: http://cdbaby.com/cd/robyduke2

And if you can’t make it, start praying!
Here are things I can use prayer for this week:

Spanish – Nope, still not fluent, but I do know how to say that “I like music.” Me gusta escuchar música. ;)

Fundraising continues – Please pray that the concert is a success musically & financially, but also that I am able to really share concisely and effectively the amazing things God is doing through ENLACE. I would not be willing to make this extreme life change if not for my passionate belief that ENLACE is going to change the entire landscape of El Salvador through their amazing model.
Margin - Last week I asked you to pray for margin and I really felt the answer to that prayer. I had just enough time to get things done, hang out with friends, rest and just enjoy my time. Thanks for praying and please keep it up!

I continue to be blown away by all of you and your support, love and encouragement! You are a blessing from God in my life!

Weakness can be a good thing

2007-09-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

I think one of my biggest challenges in life is my protection mode. I really hate being hurt—and I know you hate being hurt to, but I REALLY hate it. A lot. Since I was pretty young I have armored myself with all kinds of protective techniques and manners. All with the aim of keeping myself away from the weepy, the broken and the ouchy. I am the strong one. The go-to person. The girl you call to get a job done. Self-sufficiency could be on my resume. And I’ve been pretty good at it—until now.

Now I am actively and volitionally placing myself on a new journey that is basically one big messy road of vulnerability. There is really no way around it. I’m leaving my job—financial stability; my community—family & friends; my language—don’t get me started…But most significantly I think I am giving up my delusion of some supreme strength of my own. First, I can’t even get to El Salvador without your financial support. And emotionally, I wouldn’t make it through a week without the prayers, emails and phone calls of dear friends reminding me why I am stoked to begin this adventure. There is no way I will be able to make a meaningful impact on anything in El Salvador without God-like strength, God-like patience and a God-like trust in the big plan beyond my vision. And that is not something that I can supply, purchase or do a tutorial on—Godlikeness. In his journal about his time in Latin America, Henri Nouwen writes:

One of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience
of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are. When we become
aware that our stuttering, failing, vulnerable selves are loved even when we
hardly progress, we can let go of compulsion to prove ourselves and be free to
live with others in a fellowship of the weak. Gracias, p.17

“Fellowship of the weak”—doesn’t that sound awful. It sounds lonely…and hard…and well, weak. But here is the thing—Jesus, as He walked this earth hung out with the weak—the poor, the sick, the broken. And when He was making His dream team of apostles, he basically told them to give up everything and just trust and follow Him—sounds pretty weak. (Try explaining that to your family…”Yea, I quit today to wander & learn from a guy with a really long beard and a special twinkle in His eyes…) And the more I think about it, the more I have to recognize that the Savior ultimately chose the most extreme form of weakness to save me—death on a cross.

In Luke 14:11 it says, “For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” So maybe all of my running from weakness is a bit counterintuitive as a Christ-follower. And having been to El Salvador, I know that there is a lot more to weakness than my made-for TV conception of it. I have witnessed strength in weakness firsthand—people with no reason for hope, who hope anyway. Mother’s dreaming of college for kids when they didn’t get past the 5th grade. Poor people collecting enough in the Sunday offering to help some only slightly poorer person. Friendship offered even after so many relationships have failed them. The first line of the beatitudes says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” And while I don’t believe that I will ever be able to experience absolute solidarity in poverty, I hope to really learn what that means. Don’t get me wrong, every atom in my body still cries out for stability and strength—but God is leading me somewhere else—a place of vulnerability—a place of trust—and His great love compels me to follow. And because of that love—this new road is wonderful. Scary and hard and potentially ouchy yes, but truly wonderful.

Whew. That was a lot to say. I promise to try to make these missives shorter—sometimes I just get excited and want to share SO much!!

OK, here is how to pray for me this week:

Spanish – Nope, not fluent yet. ;)
Fundraising continues – I remain in awe that every week I get closer to my goal!
Margin – There are a lot of things to do. Details, plans, things to learn, decisions to make, friends to see, tears to shed, movies to watch, dance moves to bust, etc. And then there is life—prayer, reading my Bible, exercising, eating, etc. All of that jumble of activity does not leave a whole lot of space for enjoying moments, soaking in Portland and loving the ones I love. Please pray that I learn how to cultivate the margin of living. I’ve never been good at margin and it seems like now is the time to learn.

From "Oh no" to "Oh my!"

2007-08-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

As promised, here is the first in a planned weekly email about my adventure to El Salvador!

I woke up a few weeks ago and rolled over. My first thought was, “I’m moving to El Salvador in 2 months! —Oh my…what have I done!” And then I lay there a few minutes and the let my thoughts sink in and my next thought was —“Wait a minute, I’m moving to El Salvador in 2 months! That is awesome!”

Yea, that is pretty much my life these days—a constant state of being purely overwhelmed and sooo purely stoked. It is such a weird place, but I am trying roll to with it and trust God more and more when the “oh no” thoughts come and embrace the joy feelings when I think about actually getting down there and being a part of such an amazing work. So, even though there are moments, I still feel like I won the lottery. Like I am the luckiest girl alive to have a life that allows me to just go and serve and see what lies ahead. Lately I keep envisioning that boat that Pastor Guy mentioned so many messages ago and I keep thinking what a thrill it is to step out of the boat and follow God wherever He leads me. Sure the process is not without sacrifices or fears, but the adventure is so exciting!

But to keep the record straight, if you thought that by becoming a missionary, you can avoid all second-guessing or feel a perpetual state of purpose or mission, well I am here to say thus far that it doesn’t exactly work that way. Yep, I still feel doubts and fears amidst all of this change. And yet, I still know deep down that this is what God wants for me and there is a great peace and sense of expectation in that. And there is the encouragement I receive from you when you say you are praying for me or donate to ENLACE—that is when you are the hand of God in my life. Pretty cool, huh? And then I also remember that I love El Salvador and I love the work there and I still am awed a bit that I get to be part of something that very specifically brings hope to the lives of the poor—through relationships, through increased skills, through clean water, through fed bellies. Really cool.

Nonetheless, the tension is still there. That tension between what sacrifice requires us to give up and the desire to really live the life we are each called to. It looks different for all of us, but I really believe we all should be living somewhere between the “oh no” and the “oh yes!” It doesn’t really matter whether it is on the mission field or right next door, it’s all about where you’re called and what you are asked to give. And my encouragement is cliché but it’s what I’ve got today—just do it. Just give yourself to the adventure. It’s what makes us alive in our walk with Christ and available to each other as we help & support & enjoy the adventure together!

How to pray for me this week:

Fundraising continues – It is going very well and I am so blessed by everyone that has given and I look forward to meeting 100% of my budget.
Spanish – The saga continues. I’m still finding it hard to devote time to Spanish and still feeling like I am not doing what I need to be prepared. I feel like I am not doing enough, but I also feel like I don’t have any more bandwidth right now. Please pray that I continue to make this a real priority, find time to practice speaking while being realistic about what I have to give and having patience with myself.
Emotional Energy – I leave in two months. And I am finding that my normally pretty even-keel Tinaness is more of a roller coaster of emotions these days. (For example, I was just crying on my bed one afternoon recently. No real good reason, I just had to cry. It makes no sense, but it is my reality today.) It seems that this is probably pretty normal—to experience pretty intense emotion amidst such a big life change, so I am trying to have patience with myself, yet again, but nonetheless the emotions can be pretty tiring. So please pray that I am able to have a right perspective of what is going on and that God give me the emotional strength and energy for these next few months. And if you see me and I look a little droopy, a little hug goes a long way sometimes.

PS: Saturday, August 25th some of us will be gathering to pray for El Salvador, Nuevo Renaçer, Agros & ENLACE at 10am at the River West Community Center. Please join us!

FOUR LITTLE LETTERS

2007-05-21T08:40:00.000-07:00

HOPE
It’s such a small little word for such a significant thing. It seems like there should be a few more syllables and perhaps an accent placed somewhere. The word is overused to the point of being totally useless & trite and sometimes seems far from each of our experiences. Our world is broken, we see it every day. The needs are vast and the solutions seem few. This is the world we live in and as a global community it seems that our hope source has dwindled to a tiny stream. In fact, hope is so lost in the shuffle of our modern experience, that when we come face to face with it—it stops us in our tracks. Why do you think so many people watch Extreme Makeover Home Edition? It’s all about deserving people being given a dose of physical hope. Why do I love the movie Hoosiers and watch it at least once every year? It’s about a group of Indiana farm boys that together work to realize their hope of beating those big city ball players. And why is the story of Narnia a classic? It’s all about the hope of Aslan. His life-saving sacrifice followed by his triumphant return.

HOW ENLACE DOES HOPE
And over the last few years, the hope in El Salvador has not only stopped me, but has me packing my bags! In these communities, there is dignity present. There is joy. And mostly there is hope. When a mother is able to provide clean & healthy water to her child, a hope is born that she would have never known previously. When a father is able to provide a library where his kids can study and do better in school, again a new hope is created. And when a church partners with their community & listens & acts out of love & selflessly serves, another kind of hope is begun! Dave McGee, Enlace’s Communications Director, sent me this in an email and I love the nuts and bolts description of some of the hope growing via the work of ENLACE. He said:

For the church, a need can frequently be turned into an opportunity by
maximizing what is available, not focusing on what is missing. The church is a
continuous reservoir of resources (from Ron’s
blog). ENLACE has worked primarily with churches of less than 100 members
located in impoverished, rural areas of El Salvador. Many of the church leaders
believed they did not have the financial or human resources to become effective
agents of change in their community. As soon as they looked at their church more
closely and began to partner with their community, they discovered a wealth of
skills and resources within their congregations. Churches already had, or could
develop quickly, great fundraising skills and could pool resources together
effectively. They also had a deep commitment to stewardship and compassion which
made them an endless reservoir of resources to transform their communities.

ENLACE is all about helping illuminate the opportunity lying just below the surface. Henri Nouwen explained this concept beautifully in his journal about ministry in Central America called Gracias. He said:

The true skill of ministry is to help fearful and often oppressed men and women
become aware of their own gifts, by receiving them in gratitude. In that
sense, ministry becomes the skill of active dependency: willing to be dependent
on what others have to give but often do not realize they have.

It’s a beautiful blend of empowerment and practical training. And after 14 years, it’s working! In a war-scared country like El Salvador, this is the hope for communities in generations to come. I know that sounds awfully esoteric and lofty—and I guess it is—but it’s true. And that amazes me! That I truly believe that ENLACE, through God’s power, can and will bring restoration to an entire country one person and project at a time. Ooo, I have goose bumps I am so excited!

WHY I FEEL LIKE I WON THE LOTTERY
God is working—God is restoring—and I get to be a part of it! Earlier I said that hope seems to be dwindling in our world, but in my life I have found a hope that has changed my perspective, changed my heart and is changing my address. While I know there is a lot of hard work before me, all of the sacrifices seem like cake in comparison to what God has done and is doing. And I know some of you are non-believers or atheists or agnostics or blissfully ambivalent, but I firmly believe that Christ is the ultimate source of all hope. And He is leading me to El Salvador. Crazy, but true. And crazier still, I cannot wait to go and see His face shining through the villagers! I can’t wait to see Him create miracles—to restore people—to show the wealth that is within the hearts of the villagers there. Yes, I will be part of an organization that is working on “eliminating poverty in sustainable ways”, but so much more than that, I am going to become a laborer of hope. I am going to El Salvador because I have felt the hand of God in my life and He is guiding me to go and share life there. I believe that I will be able to bring some gifts to that place and I believe that El Salvador will richly gift me back. And I believe that you should come along with me!

I have been approved by both ENLACE’s El Salvador & US leadership and I have signed my affiliation agreement. This means a few things. First that I definitely get to go. And while I had a good feeling that all was going to work out, I am absolutely exuberant now that I have signed the form, have a legal title (the contract calls me “the project operator”—how cool is that?!) and can begin the next step: fundraising.

WHY I AM EXCITED TO ASK FOR YOUR SUPPORT

2007-05-21T08:33:00.000-07:00

This will give you a good glance into my reality of late. God has communicated and proven over and over that He will provide for me, and against my logic, my anxiety, my normal self—I am simply trusting Him. And although this process is still only a few months old, a few of you have already contacted me and said that you would like to partner with me and help support this adventure. And where I would normally have fear, instead I have a great sense of expectation that I am about to see miracles. And you are a part of that miracle. Whether it be through prayer, email, checks or hugs—God has been providing for me already! I truly feel blessed and am overwhelmed with gratitude for all of you. Specific areas that I could use prayer are:

Continued Support – I cannot do this alone. And I am so excited to have friends and family join with me via prayer, finances or future care packages. The support already has been amazing!
Spanish – I’m doing what I can to learn as much Spanish as I can, but it’s hard to focus sometimes.
River West Transition – I love River West with all of my heart and leaving is so hard. And every time Guy preaches or we do worship or one of you tells me about the miracles in your life, it is sooo good that it makes leaving all that much harder. Please pray that I continue to move forward with hope and excitement at the next step God has for me and that the letting go will happen without too many crying fits. ;)
People, Time & Preparation – Clearly there is a lot to do. And there are only so many hours in a day, but my priority has been spending time with you guys. The boxes will get packed, the details taken care of somehow, but I will never replace the time I have remaining with all of you at this time in my life. I know that, but “Tina-the-planner” can get a bit stressed when there are still loose ends everywhere. Please pray for right priorities, perspective and grace with my remaining months.
ENLACE – There is a lot of exciting stuff happening at ENLACE and my daily prayer is for this organization that I believe is doing such powerful work. I pray that God is preparing me for the work there and I pray that God is preparing them for me.

HOW DOES THE MATH WORK OUT?

2007-05-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

So, how do the finances work? Well, I worked with ENLACE to develop a budget based on their many years living in El Salvador and my final budget was approved by them. As far as annual living expenses go, I hope to raise about $30,000. This includes all the “must-haves” like rent, utilities, food, health insurance, and some start up expenses like Spanish, moving costs, residency, etc. I will be focusing on raising this amount in the next few months. And once I have raised my living expenses, there are other expenses, like a car, a computer, etc. that I will be trying to raise funds for, but first things first! And although I do not leave until the Fall, I am trying to start raising these monies now to help cover moving costs that I will have before I leave, pay deposits for my new place, buy my plane ticket there, etc. So, if you feel led to give, following are the ways that you can donate.

I know that you have heard it before, but any and all amounts are so valued and such a significant blessing. Thank you for praying & considering joining me in this beautiful work. And thanks again for all of your support to date and your patience with me as I continually babble on about El Salvador & ENLACE.

If you have any questions or would like to hear me speak more about the many things that ENLACE does, please feel free to email me at tina@riverwest.org or call me at 503.753.3519.
___________________________________________________________________
YES! I want to partner with Tina Anderson & ENLACE in their work in El Salvador. How do I do it? All pledges need to go to the ENLACE offices in the US. So please mail anything directly to them at:

ENLACE-US5405 Alton Pkwy Suite 5A Number 458 Irvine, CA 92604
Or fax them in California at : 949.387.4030
Always be sure to include a note that says “Tina Anderson mission.”

They are a few options for giving based on what works best for you:

Set up automatic deduction from your checking account. Simply mail a check to the address above for your first donation and a note with the following info:

Yes, I would like to enroll in ENLACE’s Automatic Giving Plan. I give my
bank permission to transfer from my account each month and pay to ENLACE the
amount of __________ on a monthly basis.

Funds will be taken out on the 1st of every month. You will receive a year end giving report to use for your taxes.
Or send a one time check made to ENLACE to the ENLACE’s US office with a note: Tina Anderson’s support.You will receive a receipt & a return envelope that will say ENLACE/Tina Anderson Mission and the US office address. You will also receive a year end giving report to use for your taxes.
Or you can supply your Debit/Credit Card information. Send ENLACE the following info:

Visa or MastercardCredit card number:
Name on card:
Expiration
date:
Billing address for credit card:
One time or monthly recurring
gift?
Amount:

(Sorry, we no longer take American Express or Discover). For those giving by credit card on a revolving basis we do not receipt monthly. You will get a year end giving report as will all you donors.
Thanks again for helping us develop hope in El Salvador.

I ♥ El Salvador

2007-04-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

So, I’m moving there!

2007-04-03T22:20:00.003-07:00

No, you are not seeing things. Yes, I said I am moving there.

All of you know how passionate I have been about River West’s ministry in El Salvador over the last 3 years. After our recent trip, I stayed in San Salvador to meet with folks from an organization called Enlace (www.enlaceonline.org) that does development work through support of local church bodies. I was moved by their work (a 1.2 million dollar water project, roads & bridges being built, cook stoves being upgraded for better health, libraries, a daycare center for the most malnourished kids in the community, etc.), impressed by their commitment to Christ and filled with joy by the faces of the communities being served.

So many smiles! And something happened inside me.

After being a joyful part of God’s plan in the lives of El Salvador’s poor over the last few years, I had to finally admit that my heart has a home in El Salvador. Strange, but so true. Further discussions led to the reality that Enlace could use me—specifically me and my skill set—to increase their impact. Many meals, hours in the car and heart to hearts later, I realized that I had found more than a potential job, but a welcoming community of believers. And to my own surprise, I realized that God had been preparing me for this moment & in a complete state of peace and great expectation, I am prayfully pursuing a missions position in their communications department for the fall.

Of course many details remain (Spanish, fund-raising, applications, summer BBQs, transitioning, etc.) but I am totally confident that this is the right step for me and that God will continue to provide for me. I will keep everyone updated as more details get hammered out.

I look forward to sharing updates and stories from my adventure and appreciate your continued prayer & support of God’s vision for me & for El Salvador.

Our God is good, so very good.
In His ♥, Tina

Why?

2007-04-03T22:20:00.001-07:00

Simply put, God is calling me and has been opening the doors to make this happen.

And beyond that, I will get to spend every day working to help a community like this one, El Tinteral, build similar libraries, so kids can have a place to focus and do homework.

And the kids are so darn cute. I will get to snuggle buggle all the time with some kid or another...

Who?

2007-04-03T22:19:00.002-07:00

Check out the website to learn more about Enlace, but in a nutshell, here is a brief description of what they do:

ENLACE (pronounced en-lah-say, it is the Spanish word for “link”) commits to a
10 year relationship with a local church in el Salvador . We equip the church
leaders to become effective agents of change as they understand who they are as
a body, listen to their community, and respond to opportunities for developing
sustainable solutions for poverty.

You can also see a photo of lil' ol' me and read some of my thoughts on their blog.

I stole photos from websites so you can see a few people I will be working with. The black & white photo are Pete & Dara DeSoto. Check out some amazing stories of God's providence in the lives of the DeSotos at their DeSoto family website. You can also check out David & Jenny's website. The color shot shows the wonderful McGee and Bueno families. Ron Bueno was co-founder and is the Executive Director. His wife is Michelle. Dave is Communications Director and will be bossing me around some day soon. Jenny is a painter and kindred spirit. All of their kids are adorable! Although we hung out for only 1 weekend, I feel incredibly blessed to join such an amazing group of missionaries and the even more amazing national staff at Enlace.

What?

2007-04-03T22:19:00.001-07:00

So, what will I be doing? Well, first things first. I will start by taking intensive immersive Spanish for a a few months. Then I will focus on moving in and adjusting to the pace of El Salvador. Once Enlace thinks I am ready, I will be a Communications Assistant working with David to develop & produce all kinds of communications. I will also assist with special events & teams. And I will continue using photography, writing and design to support God's work in El Salvador, just like I have been doing for the past 2 years with our Agros village! I also intend to join the River West teams at Nuevo Renacer twice a year and continue to support that ministry. It will be awesome to get to see friends from River West twice a year and hopefully be able to help with some Spanish translation eventually. (Pray, please pray for my Spanish...)

Where?

2007-04-03T22:18:00.003-07:00

The Enlace offices are in San Salvador, El Salvador's capital and biggest city, and that is where I will primarily live and work. But Enlace currently partners with 10 churches and that means that there will be at least 10 communities throughout El Salvador that I will be travelling to.

We are still discussing whether I should live with a family, live on my own, etc.

So What?

2007-04-03T22:18:00.001-07:00

In the past two years, I have been so blessed to see God's hand in El Salvador. And so many of you have been a part of this work through your support & encouragement. Little did you know that this was just preparation!!

As I continue down this road, there is a lot for me to learn, there are details to be determined and there will be needs. Right now I do not have a clear view of all of my needs, but I imagine I will soon and will keep you all posted. In the meantime, your prayers for the following would be amazing.

Planning - This is new to me and I want to plan well, while trusting God in all things

Transition - I love River West with all my heart and long for a smooth transition from the staff. Leaving RW will be the hardets thing I have ever done, so encouragement will be imperative

Finances - I will be a missionary and this means that I will need to raise all of my funding. Pray that people see this as an opportunity to be a part fo God's work in El Salvador and that I am able to meet all of my budget needs.

The Heart of Jesus - But primarily, I pray that thanks to Jesus Christ my heart will maintain a love, an excitement, a joy for the path ahead.

Once again, thanks and I will keep you posted!

-Tina